Dear Jamie, Go Climb a Rock
by Drbeez63
Summary: Fem!Kirk and Spock with plenty of angst, fluff, adventure and romance. Begins about 5 months into the 5 year mission after Into Darkness. Jamie Tiberia Kirk is the fleet's youngest captain, with a troubled past and an interesting future ahead of her, which includes her half Vulcan Commander and her best friend/chief medical officer. It's gonna be a long and amazing journey.
1. Intro Chapter 1- Dear Jamie

_Dear Jamie,_

_ I am so proud of you my daughter. From the moment you took your first breath I knew you would be my pride and joy. You are so much like your father and I love you so much. I'm so sorry I couldn't come home again this year. But duty calls. Turning 12 is a big step for a young girl and I hope you have a wonderful birthday._

_ I love you so much,_

_ Your loving mother._

Jamie Tiberia Kirk could've almost snorted as she read the last birthday letter her mother had sent her. She set the padd down on the table next to her. Her fifth birthday is when her mother had stopped coming home to celebrate, and each year after that the letters had gotten shorter and shorter, with less effort and meaning put into the next. On her thirteenth birthday a letter never showed, and by then it didn't even hurt Jamie. An immunity to loneliness and self pity had developed inside of her. Why waste time on the negative? Why waste time dwelling on small things that she couldn't fix? Make the best of a situation, make the world listen to you, that was her policy.

Her mom belonged up there among the stars, so why should she come back to Earth to see a daughter that reminded her so much of the man she lost? So headstrong, so determined, that glint that had been in her father's eyes was now in hers. Her mother couldn't even stand to look at her.

"Happy Birthday to me, happy birthday dear me, I'm far from the sea, and the universe within reach, the stars are my home, wherever I may roam, set phasers to stun, ahead warp factor one," she sung softly to herself, laying back with her hands behind her head, smiling at the details in the medical bay's ceiling. By this time she had them memorized.

"Would you like some candles to blow out too Jay?" Bones asked her in a teasing manner as he walked over to the bio bed she lay in.

"Want to sing it with me Bones?"

"As I tell you every year Jay, I'm not gonna sing your little song until you manage not to end up in my care on your birthday," he ran a tissue re generator over her broken leg, shaking his head in disapproval once again. When was this girl going to stop diving head first into the proverbial water?

"It's become tradition by this point! I wouldn't know how to celebrate if I weren't in one of these lovely beds and a scratchy gown."

Bones snorted as he went over her vitals, "How you managed to break a leg during a simple away mission to gather some plants is beyond me. I think you did it on purpose."

"Who's to say I didn't doc?" It was evident she was teasing, that big tooth grin stretching miles wide.

"Captain, if you are purposely injuring yourself I'm afraid I will have to report that sort of behavior to Starfleet," Spock stood at Leonard McCoy's side, his teasing manner well hidden. But those who knew him well enough could see it in his only expressive feature: those brown eyes.

"Oh come on Spock. I know you have a sense of humor so why not show it just for one day? As a present?"

"Impossible Captain, However, I am relieved that you are only minimally injured. I regret that I didn't realize the plant life would see us a threat and attack sooner."

"No biggie Spock. I didn't think the things could move that fast. What's that thing you're holding?"

Spock walked around over to his Captain's right side and handed her a wrapped package, being careful so their hands wouldn't touch,"It was delivered along with the supplies in the shuttle from Earth, it seemed only appropriate to deliver it to you on this date."

Jamie could almost hear a laugh from the doctor at the Commander's words. Seeing Spock respect Terran traditions certainly was a treat.

"It's from my brother..and my mom." Jamie stared down at it, tucking her hair behind her left ear. Spock noted the conflicting emotions shadowing her face, the twitch in her lip. Had he insulted her in some form, or was he mistaken in some way?

"We should leave her alone to open it," Bones whispered to Spock as he pulled the curtains surrounding her bio bed, "You're healthy as a horse. Go back to the bridge and fill in for her."

The complexities of human proverbial and comparisons were things he was learning to overlook, some things simply could not be explained. The doctor's 'order' was a logical choice of action however.

"Very well Doctor," he said as he began to leave sickbay, "Happy Birthday Captain," was whispered as the sickbay doors slid shut.

* * *

Spock returned the bridge, curiosity overcoming logic. Why was a birthday present from her family such a private matter? But he quickly dispelled such thinking; privacy is a cherished thing, especially among Vulcans.

The Captain herself had looked rather solemn after receiving the parcel. From his experience, receiving gifts was a happy occasion for humans. Nyota alone was proof of that. He had simply given her a card for one of her birthdays while at the academy, and she had thanked him by kissing him eagerly and almost hungrily.

But that kind of relationship with the lieutenant had ended 4 months ago, and at this time she preferred to keep her distance from him.

The termination of their personal matters had only been logical. Their minds were not very compatible, and he felt nothing more than an admiration for her abilities toward her, and perhaps a friendship. Leading her to believe he felt anything more wouldn't be fair to either of them.

As Spock sat at his station, reviewing the data they collected during the away mission, he felt a sense of regret that his delivery didn't make his Captain smile. In a lot of ways, Captain Jamie Tiberia Kirk was like his mother, speaking her mind, smiling at the simplest things, determined stubborn, and smart.

Perhaps that was one reason why their friendship had developed to the point it was at. A 'best friendship' is what she had called it. He recalled the relief he felt when she had forgiven him for his emotional outburst, almost killing her. It was truly a mystery that she had not held a grudge towards him. She even sacrificed herself for him and the ship on numerous occasions.

_We're like the three musketeers! Or some other fictional power trio, i_s the way she had stated it, mouthful of apple and clapping the Doctor and himself on the back. He winced, remembering the touch. Personal space was not something she believed in apparently. Many humans forget to remember that.

He blinked twice at the memory and stood, deciding to head down to the lower decks, where his personal station for scientific projects and so forth was located in science lab 3.

* * *

"Throw this away Bones, I don't want to see it," her voice was strangely cold.

"Why? It's just a dress and a tribble plush."

"Throw. It. Away."

"Listen, I know you aren't exactly happy with your family but they're still your family and looks to me like they might just care. I wouldn't let you take for granted a luxury like that. So if you don't want to see it fine, but I won't throw it away. It's going to your quarters got it Jay?"

She only nodded in response and laid back down onto the starchy pillow. That's right, Leonard's family was a luxury he had lost. It was rude of her to take something like that for granted in front of him. Best not to bring it up.

"How long until this leg is healed?" Changing the subject was better than getting all sentimental.

"A few more hours, and then I'm putting you on 24 hour medical rest, restricted to quarters. And then I'll assign someone to help you with physical therapy for a few weeks. Don't worry; you'll still be able to take shifts during the therapy."

Damn he could be such a mother hen.

"Still don't want to sing with me?"

"Maybe next time my girl. Happy birthday," he smiled and handed her a vintage record, "For that damn player you refuse to get rid of even though the quality is terrible."

"Jazz? You sure know how to treat a girl you southern hick."

Jamie smiled and squeezed his hand, "Go bug another patient, Captain's orders."

"Get some damn rest, Doctor's orders."

* * *

A/N

So this is just a little fluffy introductory chapter. Plot before plot I suppose.

Things will get more exciting and heated later on, I can tell this is gonna be a long one with eventual Kirk and Spock and some darker elements-hence the m rating

Kirk's "Go climb a rock" shirt and the song dear Jamie inspired this story.


	2. Intro Chapter 2- Riddles In the Chair

Jamie partly limped back to her quarters, the effects of anesthetic still apparent on her mind. She was drowsy, and a little giddy. No captaining tonight. Just rest. Only rest. Sweet blissful and much needed rest.

The door to her quarters slid open and the smell of vanilla and old books welcomed her in and she tossed her family's gift next to the bed, where it could be kicked under and forgotten.

She hadn't expecting a potted Plomeek plant to be sitting on her nightstand, a note from her Vulcan friend sitting next to it.

_Captain,_

_You stated that you enjoyed the soup I made and wanted to 'play' with the recipe._

_From my experience it tastes better with fresh ingredients. _

_Happy Birthday,_

_-Spock._

The formality made her giggle and roll her eyes. This was a much better gift than her family's halfhearted attempt to induce nostalgia.

And she would be playing around with the recipe and she was determined to make the best damn plomeek soup that stuffy Vulcan had ever tasted. What else are friends for?

Experimentation with Vulcan recipes could wait a bit longer though. The drowsiness was getting unbearable.

She stripped off the starchy gown and didn't bother putting on pajamas, instead choosing to curl under the red sheets naked; the cool air was somehow comforting.

Her head hit a decently comfortable pillow this time, blonde hair splaying out, tangled and dirty.

She herself had not expected Spock to become one of her first and only friends. When she first met him he infuriated her with his smartass ways and extensive vocabulary, his love for rules and regulations and his need to prove her wrong.

But that had grown on her. He was a challenge, someone who wouldn't be afraid to stand up to her, someone who could empower her and better her. Someone to stand by her as an equal, someone who looked at her as a Captain, not some scared little farm girl. He was the perfect first officer. Just like McCoy was the perfect CMO. What was it called when characters complimented each other in literature?

Jamie was too tired to remember.

Come to think of it, how had he gotten in her quarters?

* * *

"Doctor, we will be star charting for the next three months. If you need to restock on any supplies you should've informed me of the matter before the supply shuttle arrived," Spock almost sounded irritated, trying to concentrate on the experiment before him as McCoy heatedly argued toward him. He needed to meditate once again.

"Damnit Spock, my sickbay is well stocked. I'm talking about a special order for the Captain that never arrived."

"And to what special order are you referring?" Spock tried to hide his interest as he wrote down some calculations.

"I can't tell you. Doctor patient confidentiality. To be honest she doesn't even know she takes this medication."

Wasn't it illegal to medicate patients without their consent?

"Then in all good conscience I cannot specially order whatever you are requesting."

"You don't understand, if she doesn't take this things can go very bad."

"How so Doctor?"

"I'd prefer not to say. Just promise you'll order it and not ask any questions."

"I will do you this..favor this one time. But only because you claim it to be in the Captain's best interests from a medical stand point."

"I already told you I did."

"And I can only order if you tell me what it is and what it is for. "

"Stubborn hobgoblin. Fine, it's a mood elevator I developed myself, it's created at deep space seven's medical facility. Can you get it or not?"

The information was insufficient.

"I will try."

* * *

Jamie awoke to the sound of silence. If she had been on Earth, there would've been a sunrise. Thankfully not, she preferred her stars in clusters outside her window, not over an Iowa cornfield horizon.

Space indeed was the final and best frontier. She pulled a tank and regulation trousers over her nude form and stood by the window, watching the stars zoom by as she leaned over the bulkhead.

"Thank god my birthday's over. Got through it with almost no casualties too," she whispered to herself in an amused manner, turning her leg slightly. Ti felt better already. McCoy was truly amazing.

There were still about seven hours left of medical rest, and she knew Bones would personally break her other leg if she didn't do just that: rest.

Resigned to her fate, she sat at her desk and played McCoy's jazz record. Coltrane. Total classic. An ancient antique actually, and she absolutely loved it.

A game of chess against the computer wasn't as fun as a real game against Spock (the clever bastard had made sure you could almost never win against the system), but he was probably doing all the stuff she'd rather be doing. Even reports.

"I miss my chair. He better not be sitting in it. And he better be taking good care of my girl," she sighed.

Her apple a day from McCoy automatically replicated. Granny Smith. A little inside joke, "An apple a day keeps Bones away."

She promised him she'd eat it no matter what, every day. He started this little joke about a month after knowing her. No matter where they went he made sure her replicator made it around ten every morning. There was something special about his damn apples that made them taste great and made her feel great.

And it exceeded expectations even today. Too bad it couldn't speed up time or play chess.

McCoy had played chess with her once and after the first round he gave up and pulled out the bottle. They both had ended up completely inebriated, throwing the pieces each other and telling 'blank, blank, and a doctor walk into a bar' jokes. Besides, Bones was probably busy doing inventory or going after Nurse Chapel.

Smiling a wide tooth grin at the mere thought of what she was going to do, she pulled out her padd.

_Spock, _

_Since you're probably sitting in my chair doing all the things I'd rather be doing let's play a game of riddles._

_Illogical, but knowing that you will continue to pester me until I play along I see no choice but to do just that. You start. _

_What's black and white and red all over?_

_Many things. You need to work on your grammatical structure._

_There's only one correct answer Spock. Try again._

_Some species of plant I presume?_

_Wrong! A sunburnt penguin._

_How illogical. That particular Earth species does not get 'sunburnt'.  
_

_Stuffy much? Your turn._

_Very well. Its life can be measured in hours and it serves by being devoured. Thin, it is quick. Fat it is slow, and wind is its foe._

_Good one._

_Do you have an answer?_

_Patience, Vulcan. _

_Do you give up Captain?_

_A candle!_

_Correct. _

_Alright this one should stump you. What is the longest word in the dictionary?_

_Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis. The question was not a riddle. _

_Yes it was, and that's the wrong answer. (I bet you looked that up too.)_

_I can assure that it is the longest word in your English dictionary, and I did not search for it._

_The answer is smiles, Spock. Because miles are in smiles._

_Humorous and illogical. I'm assuming that's your way of 'teasing' me. _

_It is. Come down for chess after your shift?_

_Of course Captain. _

* * *

A/N Okay another small fluffy and funny chapter. Next one gets all serious and interesting. And yes, I think I made up that long word.


	3. Chapter 3-The Past Sucks

"I prefer string instruments rather than this jazz," Spock stated as he moved a pawn, eyeing the ancient music player with distaste and a small amount of interest.

"Come on, Terran music can be just as good as yours."

"Indeed."

"Honestly, I'll like any kind of music without lyrics. Of course I'm also a sucker for good old rock and roll."

Spock merely quirked an eyebrow at this statement, "Checkmate."

"You sure you don't cheat?" Jamie leaned back in her chair with a frustrated sigh, golden hair pooling around her shoulders in a tangled mess. She quickly pulled it all back over to the left side.

"Irritation is not becoming on a Starfleet captain."

"Humor is unusual for a Vulcan. Checkmate." Did she detect a hint of that almost smile?

"So is irritation," Jamie gave a short laugh and reset the board, "Let's have an intellectual conversation, with no holding back, and all honesty."

"Are you sure you are capable of such a conversation Captain?"

"It's Jay or Jamie off duty Spock, and I knew you had a sense of humor."

"What will the subject of this conversation be?"

"Anything and everything."

"How vague."

"Yes, but I can tell that you are intrigued," she stood and refilled Spock's tea cup, and fetched herself some coffee with too much cream, "Alright so let me start by bringing up the subject of, oh let's say, your Kobayashi Maru exam."

"That discussion tends to only lead to irritation Captain."

They had discussed it many times and Spock always grew exasperated at her belief in no win scenarios.

"It's Jamie, and only if you let it lead to irritation Spock."

"If I may, I'd like to discuss your birthday," the hint of green at the tips of his ears revealed his slight nervousness.

"Why?"

"It also intrigues me."

"Fine. What do you wanna know about it?" Jamie leaned forward and looked her commander straight in the eye, daring him to ask.

"The present from your mother, and brother, why did it make you solemn?"

"That's a bit personal don't you think?"

"You are free to not answer."

"No, no, it's fine. My mom sent me her wedding dress, and my brother sent me this old stuffed animal-a tribble- in some dumb attempt to make me feel sad or something. Which it didn't, I haven't talked to my mom since I was 12, and my brother ran away to California. After my stepdad left I was left alone in that house in Iowa until Pike convinced me to go to Starfleet. My family wasn't there for me. So I am under no obligation to talk to them."

"…"

Spock took a sip of his tea, the leaves' flavor not too overpowering, yet still there, contemplating his captain's words. His father had been slightly distant, which was logical for Vulcan father's. His mother however had smothered him and raised him with unending love and affection. He tried to imagine how events would have changed if she had not been there.

"I'm sorry, Spock, I didn't mean to make you listen to some sob story."

"There is no need to apologize. I am glad that you can be so open around me. I find it hard understanding why you harbor such a grudge against your family."

"This _ship _is my family. My crew. I can't love people who should've been there for me and weren't. But my crew respects me, cares for me, and listens to me. This ship is all I have and all I need."

She sounded so sure of herself, but looking at her made Spock believe otherwise, her head hung low, arms across her chest, long gold hair partially hiding the left side of her face.

When she bit her lip, it was a tell she was nervous, or thinking too hard. Curiosity overcame him, and his need to understand why such a simple thing could trouble his captain like this.

He stood and strode over to the parcel, removing the note under the dress, "Jamie, this is your brother, mom died a few months ago due to a Klingon attack on her vessel. The dress and tribble were the only salvageable things in her quarters. Uh, happy birthday, and I'm sorry. If you ever want to talk, I'll be in L.A." He had read it a bit too loud to himself mistakenly and immediately regretted it.

Jamie Kirk stood up so suddenly her chair fell over, and pieces off the chess board fell to the floor.

"Bullshit," she snatched the note out of his hand and read it over, making sure he had read it correctly.

Of course, he had.

"Get out," she commanded stoically, all expression and color draining from her face. The blue pools hidden away by the tight closing of her eyes.

"Captain, I apologize, I only wanted to-"

"Get. Out. Now! Captain's orders."

"Very well," seeing that staying would only cause further distress, he left, turning to watch her stand so rigidly, hands shaking. He turned away before witnessing anything else.

"Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. No no no no. He can't just drop something like this on me!" She threw the box across the room, knocking over books and antiques before landing in the kitchen alcove.

She sank down onto the ground, pure anger and agony clutching at her heart.

"I am Jamie Tiberia Kirk, Captain of the Enterprise, and this does not in any way affect my judgment, my mind, or my command," she mumbled to herself through sobs, massaging her temples in an effort to prevent the inevitable migraine.

And she did everything she could to stop herself from going over the edge; she pulled at her hair, buried her face in her hands, repeatedly hit and kicked the wall. But the pain was just so much.

And why? Why the hell did it hurt her so much? She hadn't spoken to either of them in years; she took care of herself, on her own.

"Mom," Jamie finally sighed in defeat, let the raw emotion flow out of her.

More than anything she wanted to drive over a cliff, to jump into an ocean, to go punch a Klingon.

But the best two options she had were to go alone to the recreation area, or get laid.

Not exactly safe or self-respecting options, but they always worked. So they should this time right?

Shore leave wouldn't be possible for another three months, and the thought of losing any respect or dignity with any member of her crew prevented her from contemplating a one night stand with any of them.

Hitting the gym and trying out the new healed leg would have to do.

* * *

Spock had no idea what had led him to be so impulsive as to get up and read the note that wasn't his to read. He stood in the turbolift, finger pressing the hold button for about ten minutes, trying to understand his actions and what would best be done next. Jamie's emotional outburst had been audible enough for it to be heard by him. He regretted his impulsive behavior and concluded that meditation in some form was absolutely necessary.

His shift had ended 30.6 minutes ago he believed, and sleep was not required.

Perhaps recreational exercise or a discussion with the doctor could clear his thoughts. The idea of sitting in his room mulling over his actions was not appealing.

However, the doctor may just scold him, because McCoy is very protective and defensive when it comes to the captain.

He rationalized some simulated combat training would be the most logical and less stressful option, and released the hold button slowly, clasping his hands behind his back in his usual manner.

The walk to the recreation room took about 8.4 minutes, factoring in the variables of his long and somewhat hurried stride.

"Computer, lights."

"_Unable to comply, commanding override delta vega kirk 239."_

She made an override just to keep the lights off?

If the captain were here, he did not wish to disturb her by making his presence known.

Resigning himself to simple and quiet exercises in a corner was the only option that allowed him to clear his thoughts, while keeping a watchful eye on her. The bone had only just regenerated in her leg and he needed to be there to prevent herself from irrationally injuring herself once again.

Thankfully, she wasn't jogging on the treadmill tonight; instead she was practicing a fighting simulation that mostly required handwork.

He studied her, the golden hair still dirty, tied back in a low and lazy fashion, her gray regulation tank had been replaced by a jet black, tighter fitting one, and she wore shorts obviously two sizes too large, possibly for easier movement and less strain on her leg.

Just what facial expression she was making couldn't be made out in the dark, but a logical guess was that it was one of determination and anger. She wore that expression often.

Around his fiftieth pushup the captain ended her simulation and walked over to him slowly, nervousness made evident by the manner she was moving in.

"I forgive you. I had no right to get mad at you."

"Negative. I had no right to read something so personal."

She didn't try to argue with him, just sat and watched him continue. His friendship was more valuable then some stupid misunderstanding.

"I need a shower," she sighed.

He looked at her for a moment before attempting at friendly humor and simply stating, "Yes."

"Want to fight it out?"

"I would only harm you."

"I'd like to see you try," She smiled and playfully punched his shoulder.

Had he been human, he would have rolled his eyes at the feeble attempt.

"We may exercise in partnership, but I will not indulge you in combat, Captain."

"Fine, and it's Jamie off duty Spock."

He did not answer, just sat and held her feet down, counting silently the amount of sit ups she did in a minute's time.


	4. Chapter 4-Calm Before the Storms

"Mr. Chekov, can you calculate how close any excitement is?" Captain Kirk stood from her chair and pushed the golden hair escaping from its tie out of her face, exhaustion and boredom evident in her features.

"Um, no keptin."

She placed a hand on the back of his chair and smiled at him, "Relax, it's just a joke. I know all of you are as tired as I am with star charting. But no worries, by this time next week we'll be rendezvousing at Deep Space Seven and there's a possibility of exploring some Horia moons."

This speech was followed by quite a few smiles directed at her and a better mood surrounded the bridge crew.

The only exception being her commander, who chose to remain in stoic silence, charting away. It still amazed her how deeply he threw himself into his work, how content he looked when performing his duties.

Jamie admitted to herself as she slid back in her chair that she was more eager than most for a shore leave. It had been three days since the discovery of her mother's death, and her brother had made no further attempts to contact her.

She nibbled on her apple a day, dreaming of the possibilities at the rendezvous point and what adventures awaited on the moons.

"Doctor McCoy to Captain Kirk."

"Kirk here."

"Report to sickbay at your earliest convenience, and by that I mean now."

Crap, she thought to herself. There was no way around this guy.

"On my way Doctor," she tried to sound annoyed, but inwardly she was smiling. It had to be his damn apples, or the fact that when she turned to Spock, he looked slightly amused at the doctor's nagging. Of course, his slightly raised eyebrow could also mean that the stars are just absolutely fascinating.

She wasn't going to let her mother's death and her brother's coldness ruin her mood, or get in the way of her friendships. McCoy and Spock were the greatest and only friends she ever had.

"Mr. Spock, come with me please? Mr. Sulu you have the conn."

* * *

"I'm beginning to think you tricked me into coming down here Doctor."

"And what would give you that idea?" Bones asked innocently enough as he scanned Jamie for her vitals, "It couldn't possibly be because you skipped out on your check up yesterday and enjoy pissing me off."

"Nah. That can't be it. Mr. Spock, since we're stuck here we might as well discuss our plans for the rendezvous point and the duty roster for next month."

"Very well Captain," Spock replied emotionlessly, watching as the doctor fussed over her.

"And before you set anything in stone Spock, I am ordering that you be part of one of the away teams for both the station and one of the moons. You've been working too hard. Same goes for you Bones, wasn't there something you needed at the station's med lab?" She asked as she swatted away a hypospray.

Bones stopped poking and prodding at the Captain and turned to Spock, disbelief and anger set in his face, "And just how would she know about that?"

"Simple. I told her you required a restock in a medication. Nothing more."

McCoy sighed, "Jay, your vitals are once again, way off. I recommend you relax, but since you never listen to me. I hate to say it's fine to lead the away teams."

Jamie Kirk tousled her doctor's hair and smiled, "I'm always fine, Bones don't worry your southern head."

* * *

"I fail to understand the meaning of 'setting in stone'," Spock was standing in his Captain's kitchen alcove, his regulation uniform had been replaced by a long sleeved black shirt that hugged his toned form, though he still wore the regulation trousers. He believed he still needed to look somewhat professional in front of his Captain, even when off duty.

"It means making something permanent Spock. You really should catch up on Terran slang," Jamie replied teasingly from her seat on the bed.

"Indeed."

"What medication needs to be restocked?"

"The Doctor did not say."

"Weird. But, whatever, he's the doc not me. I trust Bones."

The statement made his stomach turn. She rarely stated that she trusted anyone, and he couldn't recall a time when she said she trusted him in such a confident tone. But of course, he wasn't jealous. He would have to make it a point to prove his trustworthiness as her first officer. "The duty rosters are complete."

"Good, good. I never need to worry when I assign a job to you do I?"

"Negative Captain. I am very efficient."

"Efficient enough to hurry up with the tea?" Jamie fell back onto her bed with an exasperated sigh, exposed legs hanging over the edge, shorts pulling up slightly.

"It will not taste correct if I hasten the process. You are the one who insisted on not replicating it tonight," He tried to ignore her barely clothed form. Jamie didn't much care for professionalism when off duty, she preferred comfort.

"New rule when we're in my quarters: Complete honesty and no holding back. That being said I have some important questions for you ."

"Your new rule has me inclined to answer."

"Good. First question, what's your favorite color?"

"I fail to understand the significance of this question or the reasoning behind it," He stated as he picked up the tea kettle and grabbed two small cups.

"Remember the new rule Spock."

"I do not find any color more aesthetically pleasing than another."

He heard her huff in frustration and stand, walking over to the window; he speculated she frequently stood by it when thinking.

"Ok ok so let's say someone much stronger than you is pointing a phaser at your head telling you to pick a color to wear, what color would you pick?"

"Blue."

She laughed and smiled at him as he handed her a cup of the fresh tea, "Guess you lucked out with your uniform color then."

"What color do you favor Captain?"

"Green. And I think McCoy's favorite is red because his face turns that color a lot when I talk to him."

"I believe that is a result of stress, not favoritism," he almost sounded annoyed at the once again mentioning of the doctor.

"Joking, Spock. Next question: Why don't you call me by name off duty?"

The tea warmed his hands as he stared into it, trying to think of a completely honest and not too personal answer. None came. "I do not know."

"That's your honest no holding back answer?"

"Affirmative. Vulcans do not lie."

"You're coming with me and the away team to the space station and the moons right?"

"Affirmative. You commanded me to. If I may Captain, since you established this new rule, I believe it would be only fair if I could question you as well."

"Makes sense. Nothing too personal alright?"

"Agreed."

Spock took a sip of his tea as he stood next to Jamie Kirk, both watching the stars fly by her window in quiet contemplation, "What are the 'three musketeers?"

Unexpectedly she burst out into laughter at his question, "You didn't look it up in the database?"

"The database provided information that was..not satisfactory."

"Meaning I could give you better insight," it wasn't a question, more of a statement as she walked over to her bookshelf and pulled out a volume.

"It still amazes me as to how many antiques you've managed to accumulate," Spock stated as the book was set in his hand.

"Captain's direct order Commander: Have this read before we reach the rendezvous point."

"Yes, Captain," Spock replied with an underlying hint of eagerness in his voice. The feel of an actual book in his hands was almost foreign; it was much easier to read texts from a padd. He liked the way the paper felt on the tip of his fingers, the smell was old and comforting, a remainder of a simpler time in Earth's history. The cover was torn and bent at the edges, the images on the front faded. He quite enjoyed it. It was no wonder to him as to why Jamie T. Kirk preferred these antique pages to read rather than downloading it onto her padd. He would have to ask to borrow some others after reading this. The fact that she trusted him enough with one of her favored antiques dispelled any jealousness he may or may not have been feeling earlier.

* * *

A/N this is the last filler chapter for a while. Plenty of excitement and adventure is coming up next don't worry.


	5. Chapter 5-All for One

A/N To those of you who have already favorited/followed/reviewed, I love you so much and thanks to you guys I just had to write this next chapter and make it a little longer than usual.

* * *

"All systems functioning normally, prepare for take-off," the young ensign relayed to the other members of the crew in the shuttle.

Jamie leaned back in her chair, observing carefully as the young girl in the red uniform piloted the shuttle. Words wouldn't be enough to describe the sense of pride swelling in her chest as she watched. She loved her crew to the moon and back, "Nice job, ensign, take us down to the station."

Ensign Helena Johnson couldn't stifle her smile as she maneuvered the Galileo Seven out of the shuttle bay, "Aye aye, Captain."

And, goddamn, Deep Space Seven was a sight to behold. Newly built and almost as big as the Enterprise herself, it was stationed just a few light years away from a constant wormhole, which was the main subject of study at the station. The Horia moons were also located just a few light years away in a yet to be charted star system, named for their yellow coloring, there were about twelve moons in all that formed an almost perfect circle. They were truly a beautiful scientific marvel and she was as eager as a young cadet to explore them.

She felt Spock lean forward in his seat behind her and gently adjust her low ponytail, and she smiled at the small caring gesture, secretly wishing he did that more often.

"We've arrived safely, Captain," Carol Marcus chimed as she stood and fell in step next to Jamie, leaving the shuttle and being greeted by a few security officers ready to escort them to the command center.

"Mr. Spock, why don't you and Ensign Helena head over to the science labs? Doctor, you and Nurse Holloway can go explore the medical center. Lieutenant Markus and I will observe the command center. Rendezvous back at the shuttle at 1300. Agreed?"

Every member of the away party eagerly voiced or nodded their agreement, except for Spock who simply nodded once curtly before turning to leave.

"Let's go gentlemen," Jamie said to the security officers, and off they went.

She almost immediately regretted not assigning Spock to group with her as she felt Carol's hand grip hers in an effortless and leisurely move, almost as if she had done this a million times before. Which she hadn't, this was the first.

Of course it was evident that Carol Markus was attracted to her, Jamie had known that much since the first time they locked eyes. And she admitted to herself that she did feel a small attraction towards the weapons expert. Jamie Kirk had of course been with girls plenty of times. But Carol was now a member of her crew, and as Captain Jamie knew that sleeping with her Lieutenant was a bad idea and could lead to future problems. Responsibility trumped lust.

But of course being rude and ripping her hand away was also a bad idea. So she let Carol keep her grip on her hand.

As they walked down the dim halls of the deep space station, her mind drifted to the memory of first meeting Carol Marcus..

_Irritation twitched in her mind as she purposely sat down one seat away from Spock. The goddamn commander had stabbed her in the back and criticized her every decision far too much, and Bones' fussing over her like a mother hen was not helping. Jamie just hoped getting revenge and justice against John Harrison for Pike's death would be enough to make her feel better. _

_Whatever Spock was saying about Starfleet rules and regulation went in one ear and out the other, he could confess his undying love and devotion to her and at this point she would still want to slap him for stabbing her in the back. This whole mess was his fault. She saved his life and this is the thanks she gets?_

"_Captain Kirk?" a sweet angelic voice had pulled her out of her head and she looked up to see a pretty smirking blonde._

"_Science officer Wallace, I've been assigned to the Enterprise by Admiral Marcus," she handed Jamie an information padd, "These are my transfer records."_

"_You requested an additional science officer Captain?" a confused Spock asked._

"_I wish I had," Jamie stated point blank, without so much as a glance in his direction, "Impressive credentials Miss Carol Wallace, why don't you have a seat next to me?" the Captain patted the seat between her and Spock and the blonde doctor happily sat down, leaning as close to Jamie as possible. _

_Carol smiled and twirled a strand of Jamie's hair around her finger, "I must say I'm happily surprised that I'll be working with such an attractive young leader, Captain Kirk."_

"_So you're a weapons expert? You seem too pretty to be interested in something so dangerous."_

_The new science officer's arrival had made Jamie's anger completely dissipate, and as she stole a glance at Spock she noted how he looked downright pissed for a Vulcan._

_Serves him right, she thought to herself as she turned back to Carol and smiled._

"This command center is absolutely brilliant, don't you agree Captain Kirk?" Carol's voice once again pulled Jamie out of her head.

"Huh? Oh, yeah, Very nice."

And when she finally concentrated enough to take a look around her, she realized just how nice it was. From the looks of it, it might even stand a fighting chance against three Klingon warbirds. It was much like the bridge on the Enterprise, except for the lighting being much darker and much more weapon conns.

"Captain Kirk?" An attractive enough man who appeared to be in his early to mid-thirties, with brown hair and soft hazel eyes, approached her, "I'm Captain of Deep Space Seven, Jonathon Shepherd. You can call me Jon."

"Hello Captain Jon," Jamie gently released Carol's grip on her hand to shake Jon's, "I'm Captain Kirk. You can call me just that."

"I must say it is an honor meeting the young hero of Starfleet."

"Pleasure's all mine."

"Please, Captain Kirk, you must allow me to give you the full tour of my station," Jonathon Shepherd looked almost too eager as he had yet to release his grip on Jamie's hand, staring intensely into her own eyes, "What a lovely shade of blue," he whispered.

"Um, thank you Captain. And yes, I would love a tour of your station," she turned to Carol, "Lieutenant, why don't you head over to the engineering station. I have a feeling they have some weapons we don't and I'd like a report."

"Of course, Captain Kirk," Carol replied nonchalantly but with a hint of hurt in her tone, and turned to follow one of the security officers to the engineering deck.

* * *

Spock blinked disinterestedly at the science lab. His station back on the Enterprise was far more advanced and interesting. His focus was more concerned as to why the Captain had not grouped with him.

"Ensign, remain here, I expect a full report on your findings here by 0800 hours," Spock stated as he turned to go look for Jamie. A sense of unease for her well-being hung over him whenever she wasn't in his line of sight, and he knew her she was probably getting herself into some sort of unorthodox or ridiculous situation without him. Wherever his Captain went, danger of some kind was sure to follow.

He was mulling over the possible situations she could stumble into when he himself stumbled into the young Lieutenant Marcus.

"Oh, I'm sorry Commander; I was just on my way to the engineering decks."

"Lieutenant, where is the Captain?"

"She went for a tour of the station with Captain Shepherd. Down that hallway."

"That hallway leads to the mess, the Captain's probably wooing her with some lunch," Carol's escort told Spock with a roll of his eyes.

Spock glared at the security officer briefly before walking hurried, yet gracefully, down the hall.

"..So as I've said before I do truly admire you Jamie, and it is such an honor to be in the presence of a fine young lady such as yourself. Are you enjoying the soup?" Spock heard Captain Shepherd address the Captain as casually as he entered the mess.

"Forgive me for the intrusion Captain, but I'm done with my observations of the science labs. May I?" he took a seat unnecessarily close to Jamie before hearing an answer.

"Already? That was fast Commander," she turned her attention back to Jon Shepherd, "The soup is great Captain, do you have any more for my first officer?"

"That will be unnecessary Captain Shepherd. I do not require substance at this time."

"Very well," Jon didn't even try to hide the irritation in his voice, "Jamie, may I just say that you are the only female Starfleet officer I've seen that doesn't wear the female uniform. I wonder why that is."

"The _Captain_ has every right to wear the male uniform if she desires," Spock interjected before Kirk could get a word in.

Jamie could practically taste the tension between her new acquaintance and her Commander and she knew she had to cut in before things took a turn for the worst, "Commander, follow me back to the shuttle, I seem to have forgotten my communicator. You wait right here Captain Jon."

* * *

Back at the shuttle:

"You want to tell me what the hell that was Spock?"

"He was being disrespectful, Captain. I was simply ensuring your best interests," Spock stood, hands clasped behind his back, watching his Captain angrily pace the width of the shuttle.

"By murdering him with your eyes?"

"I did not and am not capable of no such action."

"You _know _what I meant. This is supposed to be a good will rendezvous and the sleazy Captain and I were getting along great before you turned all protective."

"So you agree that he is a unlikeable character?"

"Of course he is Spock, and I get that as my first officer you feel obligated to protect me. But I was in no danger," Jamie sighed and placed a hand gently on his shoulder, "Truth be told, I'm glad you stopped his advances."

"So am I," he felt the tips of his ears start to turn green at his Captain's touch and her eyes boring into his.

"However, how is it going to look if I have my first officer acting like an overprotective brother?"

She saw him slightly raise an eyebrow before he nodded at her in understanding.

"Just promise me to not be so hostile and I'll arrange for it to just be you, Bones, and I as one of the away teams to the Horia moons okay?"

"Affirmative," and that hint of a smile finally appeared on his face.

"And Captain?"

"Yes Spock?"

"I believe of the three musketeers, you are Porthos."

I know I am Mr. Spock. I think you're Athos," she smiled and stepped out of the shuttle, her commander right behind her.


	6. Chapter 6-Path to Hell

"We'll be transporting down to Horia moon nine, and if we deem it safe the other landing parties will be cleared to explore the other eleven moons. Got it?" Spock watched his Captain as she stepped onto the transporter, adjusting her hair tie once again, excitement evident on her features; she wasn't even trying to stifle her wide grin.

"Affirmative Captain," the mission was simple enough and shouldn't take too long. His earlier calculations confirmed that the atmosphere on the moon was very similar to Earth's, but colder and thinner due to the lack of a sun. Not that the cooler atmosphere would hinder him in any way.

"Wait! I'm coming with you," the doors to the transporter room slid open as Nyota Uhura hurriedly stepped through.

How curious, the Captain had clearly stated that only three officers would be part of this mission, The Captain, The doctor, and himself. Why was the Lieutenant here? Human's lack of respect for professionalism and protocol continued to baffle him.

"Uhura, what are you talking about? I need someone here to oversee communications," Jamie didn't sound angry or irritated. She simply sounded just as curious as he felt.

"Yeah yeah, I have someone else handling that. Listen Captain, just let me beam down with you, I'll explain my reasons when we get underway alright?"

Kirk looked at Nyota in contemplation for a few brief seconds, "Fine. But no more incidents like this. Got it?"

Spock was surprised at the answer. Certainly, Jamie's sense of responsibility and her understanding of her duties as captain had grown considerably.

"Got it." Nyota smiled at her victory and stepped onto the transport pad next to him, "We need to talk," she whispered only audible enough so that the half Vulcan would hear her.

"Mr. Scott, beam us down."

He merely blinked at the familiar sensation of his molecules being rearranged and placed back together.

The moon's surface was quite unique, and he deemed that it had been named properly. Different shades of yellow and gold were the only foreseeable colors. The plant life was extensive, almost like a yellow forest of strange trees, vines, hill, and mountains. They also produced their own strange light, a yellowish glow emanating off of the trees which made the standard issue lights they had brought with unnecessary for the time being. It was unlike any common moon he had previously studied, "Fascinating."

"It's like a golden Yosemite, without the water." He watched as his Captain ran over to examine the plant life, like an excited young cadet.

"Goddamnit Jay if you get bit by some yellow lizard I'll hypospray you for a week."

"Relax, doc, I'm simply observing and calculating like the rest of you should be doing."

"Yeah, that just means you want to know everything you possibly can about this place so you can go camping," the doctor grumbled before pulling out his tricorder.

Spock pulled out his tricorder shortly after and began to search for any signs of intelligent life, heading east into the yellow forest.

The cold wind caused the tips of his ears to turn a slight olive green; perhaps he should've dressed more warmly.

"It may be pretty, but it's really cold. I prefer summer weather."

"I am aware of that Lieutenant. Should you not be explaining your intentions for being here to the Captain rather than following me?"

"My _intentions_ are to talk to you."

He could have stated that if she had followed standard protocol instead of acting so irrationally and impulsively she would be in no danger of hypothermia, however instead he chose to just hand her his standard issue jacket-he was in no immediate need of it- and continue his scans.

"Proceed. But I find this to be highly illogical as it hinders the time in which the mission will be completed."

Uhura sighed and pulled Spock's jacket around her shoulders, "I don't like the way things ended between us."

"We reached a mutual agreement that further pursuing a romantic relationship was illogical."

"Yeah, I know but..I feel like we could've made things work. Don't you remember how things were back at the academy? Remember all the passion?"

"I no longer feel that passion, Nyota. My intentions are not to hurt you. I feel a friendship for you that I would prefer to keep established. However, a romantic relationship with you is not something I neither can nor will pursue."

"You still want to be friends? You mean it?"

"Of course Nyota. Vulcans cannot lie."

A small hint of a smile finally appeared and she quickened her pace to match his, "So what about Jamie?"

"What do you wish to know about the Captain?"

"_Spock. _It's obvious you feel something for her so please, elaborate. Let me help."

"What I feel for the Captain is something I am incapable of elaborating or defining to your liking at this point in time. The closest explanation I can give you is that she is my friend."

"Right. Friend doesn't always mean what you think it means."

"I fail to understand what you are implying."

"Did you know that when I first met Jamie she got beat up by about four cadets at a bar? And all because she offered to buy me drink?"

"Did you not attempt to stop the violence?"

"See? That's what I'm talking about. You don't care why she got beat up- for all you know she could've been completely disrespectful and deserved it-all you care about is that she did get beat up. You care about her."

"Speculation is not fact Nyota. I am quite aware that the Captain can handle herself during an attack and I can conclude that she was not severely injured or compromised."

Spock stopped before Uhura could reply as his tricorder began to beep urgently, "There are life forms ahead. Return to the Doctor and the Captain while I investigate, Lieutenant."

"Aye sir," Uhura turned and jogged swiftly back to the landing point.

The lack of water on the moon had led him to the theory that inhabitants of the area did not include intelligent life. However, if plants could thrive in the cold and dark environment then he supposed some form of animal possibly could as well.

Tentatively, he stepped forward.

"…batlh….Heghlu'meH QaQ jajvam.."

Klingons.

He ran back to the landing point as quickly yet quietly as he possibly could, pulling out his communicator and requesting an immediate beam up of the other officers.

Sulu's voice answered through the static, the sound of the red alert alarm blaring through the static, "We've manage to beam up McCoy and Uhura but we can't seem to get a lock on the Captain, there's too much interference."

"Very well. Raise shields, I will attempt to locate the Captain. Spock out."

The interference was most likely due to the attacking Klingons.

* * *

It took him about 4.6 minutes to locate her, whispering hurriedly into her communicator, "Mr. Sulu you keep those shields up and get my ship out of danger: that is a direct order. All the lives on that ship are not equal to mine. Come back for me once you and my crew are out of danger understood? I'll take out the ground troops. Kirk out."

She was crouched in order to hide herself in the brush, hastily tampering with the universal translator.

"Captain!" He kneeled next to her in one swift movement, handing her his translator since hers was evidently useless.

"Spock! Why didn't you beam up with the rest of the party?"

"As first officer it is my duty to see to your safety and as such I stayed behind in order to-"

She held up a hand to quiet him, "Alright fine. Spare me the extensive vocabulary," she raised a finger to her bottom lip in quiet thought, "As long as you're down here you're going to help me take out the ground troops and figure out why the hell Klingons are so close to a Federation station."

"Yes, Captain. How shall we proceed?"

"I was hoping you had a plan, I know you'll object to my usual way of going about this."

"A logical conclusion."

"So much for that camping trip. Fuck, it's getting cold. Any ideas yet?"

"They are located on the eastern side of the forest. It is dense enough for either of us to hide and gather verbal information in close proximity while one remains behind and gathers visual statistics from higher ground. Once we've gathered sufficient information we will dispose of the group one at a time, being vigilant not to bring attention to ourselves."

"Good plan. Alright since I'm wearing gold and I've got the one working translator I'll gather the verbal information. You're good at climbing right?"

"Yes, I believe so."

"Alright, move out. My communicator is going to be off just in case. Phasers set to kill. Go."

* * *

He located a small plateau near where the Klingons had established their outpost and relied on his advanced Vulcan hearing and sight to give him any useful data.

They had already built a base camp, and were busy practicing combat and drinking themselves into a stupor. Not unexpected, Klingons oft drank and celebrated before a battle.

But just what were their intentions for being here? Had the Klingons claimed these moons for themselves? Or perhaps this was a tactical move against the Federation?

Movement in the brush indicated that the Captain was moving closer to the camp. The universal translator would only be able to tell her so much.

Without warning shots were fired in her direction and he stood to cover her from above while she fought below.

There were about 27 Klingon warriors heading her way, both male and female, wielding projectile and melee weapons. He shot at those coming up behind her and from the sides, while she managed to fight off those charging from the front.

If things continued as they were however the chances of her or himself becoming incapacitated were steadily increasingly. Immediate, yet rash, action would need to be taken.

He leaped from the plateau and proceeded to the furthermost corner of the Klingon camp.

The plan was to overload his phaser and throw it into the bonfire.

He had of course anticipated a large explosion.

Upon impact flames burst across the golden forest, successfully destroying the camp and any remaining Klingons, he lay there for a few brief seconds, pointed ears ringing after the detonation.

It worked well enough, however it managed to injure himself and the Captain as well.

He assessed his shoulder had been dislocated, green blood poured out of his left ear, and two of his ribs were cracked.

"Captain?" he called out as he stood up slowly.

"Spock! That was brilliant!" She called out to him as she half limped half jogged toward him.

"An exaggeration, Captain. The repercussions are certainly unwarranted."

"It's just a few flesh wounds; I'll be fine in no time. Come on, let's clean up this mess and figure out our next move."

They began by healing their own wounds as best they could with no medical kit. He used his blue science officer shirt as a tourniquet for her abdomen, which had a gash about three inches deep below her ribs, she hissed at the shirt tightening around her and he felt bad, but thankfully she wouldn't bleed out. She cleaned the blood around his ear and on his head, the gentle touch and care turning his cheeks green, and used her jacket as leverage to push his shoulder back into place. He almost stated that without her jacket hypothermia would almost certainly be a danger to her. But there were more important matters to intend to.

The rest of the wounds would be of no immediate limitation for the time being.

"You're lucky you can block out the pain."

"Indeed. Are you in pain Captain?"

"That doesn't matter now, Spock, from what I heard there are other camps on all of the moons. One of the Klingon ships is attacking the Enterprise while we're stuck down here."

She paced back and forward across the burnt clearing, hands on her hips and a calculating tone in her voice.

"From your tone I can surmise you have a plan."

"Oh yes I do. We're going to sneak onto a Klingon ship and take them out from the inside."

"Captain, we would be disposed of immediately if we were discovered. How would you propose we stowaway onto a Klingon ship?"

"We're gonna become Klingon."

* * *

A/N Forgive me if my Klingon is awful. I'm not happy with this chapter, but I did the best I could writing from mostly Spock's perspective and introducing some action.


	7. Chapter-Barge of the Damned

Never in her lifetime did Jamie predict she would be stripping Klingon bodies. Never. As Captain of the Enterprise she had done strange and amazing things. Robbing corpses only fit into one of those categories.

And wow did they smell awful, it must've been even worse for Spock. At the academy she had read about Vulcan anatomy and their heightened sense of smell. She was proud of him for not voicing any complaints. He didn't even look slightly offended. What a fine first officer he was.

The display of him putting on the armor so strategically and _logically_ normally would've made her laugh, he looked at each piece of armor and clothing, assessing it carefully like an equation or one of his experiments and then putting it on slowly, like sliding in a puzzle piece, but the situation was tense and grim, and the smell was giving her a headache, so she only rolled her eyes and continued pulling armor off of Klingon corpses.

They had the clothes and the smell stuck to them, but they didn't have the look of Klingons just yet.

"The helmets should hide our features, and you're almost tall enough. But I'm not, and we don't exactly speak a lot of Klingon or have anger and malice emanating off of us. We'll need to rehearse."

"You speak as if you have done this before."

Finally he says something. She found herself wishing he would point out all the flaws in this plan, all the rules they were breaking and everything that could go wrong. But for some damn reason he wasn't.

She looked him over and sighed. It wasn't convincing enough. His stiff Vulcan posture was a dead giveaway, not to mention he was prone to speaking like a computer.

"Relax, stop standing like a Vulcan. Hands at your side, not behind your back, slouch a bit, and frown a lot okay? Now, let me hear your best Klingon impression."

"Perhaps a demonstration from you first would help me understand, Captain."

A groan of frustration escaped her lips and she threw her hands up. Vulcans are one of the smartest species she's ever known and yet they don't know when it's okay to lie.

"Fine. I'll give you a quick acting class. Watch me."

With the helmet on, it hid her blonde hair inside of it. She grabbed a bat'leth and swung it slowly, testing the feel and balance of the crude weapon.

He watched in interest, eyebrow raised and head tilted to the side, studying so as to mimic the Klingon behavior.

"You need to talk with confidence and anger in your voice. **nuqneH. tlhIngan maH!**"

"Fascinating."

"**bIjatlh 'e' yImev.**"

"I believe it would be best, should we engage in any interaction without the tranlslator, if you were to be the one speaking. While I do know basic Klingon, you pronounce it more fluently, Captain."

"Obviously," She took a step toward him and placed her hand on his shoulder, in an effort to comfort him most likely, and he glanced briefly at her hand, surprisingly not offended by the gesture this time, but not very affected by it either, "Listen, I know there's anger somewhere inside of you, I've felt it first hand," she winced at the recollection, "You can meditate and suppress it all you want once this is over, hell, I'll give you all the damn shore leave you could ever need to do whatever Vulcan ritual, but right now your emotions are needed Spock, and I'm sorry for forcing you to do something you're not comfortable with but this could be the difference between life and death, for us and the Enterprise."

"I understand."

He understood well enough, but the thought of welcoming such strong emotion was not something he was comfortable with, and Jamie understood that. However, the needs of the many outweighed his own needs in this situation.

He shifted, adjusting the armor, and took a slow deep breath. Meditation would certainly be needed after this mission.

"Very well, Captain. Hand me the helm and the bat'leth."

"I'm really sorry. I promise, I'll make this up to you somehow," and she did sound truly sorry as she placed the helm on his head.

"That will be unnecessary, since I am doing this of my own will. However, I do appreciate the sentiment."

She half smiled under the helmet and looked him over, "You'd make a very attractive Klingon, ."

"I see no reason to insult me."

"Embrace that humor of yours Commander; it makes me feel better about this whole situation."

He sheathed the bat'leth and looked at her. She looked like a child playing dress up. Her frame was much too small to pass as an adult female Klingon.

"I know, I know. I don't exactly look the part. I need to get taller somehow," she turned her head to look around the clearing, looking for a solution to their problem.

There was none.

"Well, maybe you could just go on by yourself and I'll do what I can down here-"

"Negative. Separating is an illogical plan."

Jamie felt a sense of relief overcome her. Even when not communicating his own ideas complimented hers. She absolutely did not like the idea of being left alone. She hated being alone. Spock almost seemed to understand that. Spock also proposed the best courses of actions in times of trouble.

"Then what do you propose Commander?"

"We will be feigning injury. If I were to carry you it may conceal your small frame."

Jamie mimicked what Spock so often did and lifted an eyebrow (Sadly, the helm hid the gesture). She had hoped if he were to ever comment on her 'frame' it would be something more flattering, "You sure about that?"

"I am much stronger than the average human."

Well duh. That wasn't exactly the answer she was looking for. Sometimes he could be so naïve. Turns out Vulcans can't know everything after all, "I hope you know what you're doing Spock."

"I am aware of my actions. Are you capable of feigning unconsciousness?"

"I'm a pro at it."

He believed her without indecision or contemplation. Doctor McCoy frequently told tales of how Jamie pretended to be compromised in some manner in order to avoid a class and go see the good doctor. Such behavior would not have been tolerated if she had attended one of his courses. Then again, he heard many professors excuse her behavior due to her exceptional credentials.

Spock opened his arms out to her, nonverbally asking permission to carry her, "If you are ready, and if you will allow me, Captain."

She stepped into his embrace with hesitation and a slight hint of nervousness, and he lifted her effortlessly, carrying her like a groom would carry a bride, "I believe the Klingon ship will be landing near this clearing in a manner of minutes, most likely," he stated stoically, seemingly unfazed by the close physical contact.

"I believe you," she curled closer to his chest and went limp in his arms, closing her eyes and slowing her breathing, "How's my acting?"

"Efficient. However, I am not accustomed to lying."

"It's not lying, think of it as acting, or exaggerating in a necessary manner."

"That is not entirely accurate."

"Our lives depend on your 'exaggerating', Spock."

"It would seem so. I believe I have surmised an adequate 'exaggeration'."

"I'll leave you to it. I can hear the Klingon ship," she quickly went limp once again.

It was a warbird, uncloaked at the moment. The Klingons onboard most likely believed that all Starfleet officers had been disposed of.

It landed an estimated 246 meters away from them, and it was an expected yet unwelcome sight in the growing darkness of the golden moon.

The burnt clearing was illuminated suddenly when the bay doors of the Klingon ship opened slowly and three warriors walked down the ramp and started toward them.

Spock quickly turned on the universal translator hid under the belt he was wearing and relaxed his posture.

He breathed slowly, quickly evaluating the plan in his mind. The probability of it not working was 3,328.74 to 1.

"What is your name and who do you carry, warrior?"

He instinctively clutched Jamie closer to him, "I'm Moklor of the house of Lar'at, and the warrior I carry is M'lara. My mate!"

He felt Jamie twitch in his grasp, trying desperately to continue feigning unconsciousness.

"I'm Captain Drex, Moklor. I don't remember you or your injured mate being part of my army."

Drex looked at Spock as if he was prey, and Drex were a predator. Spock noted how Drex's gaze bore through him, slowly judging him.

"I fought bravely against the Federation on this very ground, Drex," Spock refused to be affected in any way possible, concentrating on the task at hand, reevaluating everything he had studied on Klingon culture and behavior.

The Captain and the two warriors accompanying him looked at the burnt clearing and the Klingon corpses scattered about. Jamie purposefully hid the bodies they had stripped.

"I look forward to hearing of this brave battle. For now you and your mate will carry your wounds proudly onto my ship."

As he followed the warriors onto the warbird, he heard Jamie take in a barely audible gasp of intense pain. It must be the gash below her ribs; the wound must've reopened due to the lack of proper medical treatment. Hopefully, there would be a sickbay of some sort onboard. Spock's medical knowledge was limited but would have to suffice.

"K'temoc, take M'lara to our medic. I will escort Moklor."

Before Spock could protest, Jamie was lifted from his arms and in K'temoc's.

Worry and concern were human emotions he refused to give in to. He knew that the Captain could handle herself. Jamie would simply have to hide her identity for a little while and then find him.

_Concern is illogical, _he kept thinking to himself as Drex led him down to the engineering deck.

The ship was much different than any Federation ship he had served on. Much more rustic, brown in color, and dimly lit, with narrower yet taller doorways, the same applied to the corridors. Scotty would refer to it as a 'rust bucket'.

The engineering deck was one large two-story room, with a warp core in the center and consoles lining the walls and the railing.

Crude, compared to the Enterprise's warp systems, but the weapon systems on this Klingon warbird were far more advanced. The Enterprise also lacked (and would never have) a cloaking device.

Spock made a mental note to request that Starfleet install better and more efficient weapons systems onto the Enterprise and future exploration vessels. For self-defense purposes of course.

Another incident such as this one was not desirable.

"The insignia on your armor tells that you repaired weapons systems, ours were damaged while attacking the Federation flagship, so get to work before I change my mind," Drex commanded as he walked away, leaving Spock in front of a foreign weapons console.

He was a science officer; his knowledge of repairing weapons systems was limited. Even more so when it came to Klingon weapons.

The lack of personnel assigned onto the engineering deck was astounding. There were only two Klingons, both on the upper level, both practicing combat and not manning the systems. They had not even acknowledged his presence.

He surmised this was a rebel ship. The Klingon Empire did not make it a point to attack without reason and with a low number of crewmembers.

Perhaps evaluating and studying their warp core would be a better use of his time. Jamie planned to take over this ship, with as little incidents as possible, and use it to disable the other warbirds attacking Deep Space Seven and the Enterprise. If anything were to go wrong, she needed a quick way to disable this ship. A warp core misalignment or overload may work.

The only problem he could foresee was how the Captain and he would evacuate in time. The layout of this ship was foreign to him.

So perhaps learning how to operate the ship's systems would be an even better use of his time.

* * *

Jamie was laid onto a makeshift form of biobed that was quite uncomfortable. She opened her eyes to a very dimly lit and very small sickbay. Well, more like private quarters that had been converted into a doctor's office.

Her helmet and armor had thankfully not yet been removed. She was alone with a Klingon medic, who at the moment was in the far corner gathering apparatus. Just great.

At the moment she trusted no one but Bones to treat her, especially not a Klingon who was gathering crude equipment that looked like it was from the 21st century.

This ship was definitely a rebel ship. The Klingon Empire would have much better facilities and equipment, with more than one medic.

The Klingon Empire wouldn't have attacked a Federation ship and station for apparently no reason.

"Your mate is down in engineering, if that's what you were about to ask," it was a rough translation of whatever the medic had said.

Oh yeah. Spock had lied beautifully and said that they were mates. She decided that after this was over she owed him a round of drinks and some easy wins at chess.

The pain below her ribs was getting worse; the dull ache had turned into a stinging burn surging through her. She could feel the blood seeping through Spock's shirt and down her side.

When the Klingon approached her she dismissed him with a wave of her arm, silently pleading to just be allowed to lay there and think of her next move.

Surprisingly enough, the rebel medic simply shrugged and left the room.

Bones would never have left her bleeding like that. She found herself miraculously missing the mother hen's medical care.

More than that, she missed her friends back on the Enterprise and worried for them.

So Jamie decided the pain would have to wait, and she sat up slowly, formulating a plan to take over the warbird.

The door was obviously locked, so the only way out would be to crawl through the vent in the far corner. In order to fit though, she'd have to strip off the armor.

_Fine, _she thought as she stripped, _I'm sick of smelling like a corpse anyway_.

Left in the regulation gray tank and trousers, with Spock's blue science shirt tied around her waist, Jamie pushed her hair back and decided to get to work.

She grabbed a scalpel and quickly got to work at prying open the air vent. From the feel of the engines Jamie guessed that the engineering deck was below her. Hopefully Spock was doing well and still down there, doing whatever he could to get the plan going and make sure it went smoothly.

The vent finally slid off with a _crack _and Jamie crawled in headfirst, straight into the blasting air and dust.

Enterprise's environmental controls were much more advanced than this ventilation system. The warbird obviously focused more on weapons and war tactics like the cloaking device.

Crawling was slow going, the vent was a tight fit and she was grateful she wasn't claustrophobic. The only thing illuminating the body-hugging passageway were the rustic red emergency lights from the vent covers.

Jamie's arms and legs were getting tired, and her breathing ragged. The gash in her side was being torn open even farther. She dugs her nails into the metal, pulling herself along as best as she could, there was no way in hell she was going to die in some Klingon vent.

Sweat slicked her forehead, even though the air blasting was cool in temperature, she grunted with effort at this point, looking through each cover desperately for the engineering deck.

Then she heard a grunt that wasn't her own. Through the shutters of the vent she saw two Klingon rebels fighting with their hands, almost like boxing but much more aggressive, and behind him, yes finally, there was a warp core! She had made it! But how would she get out? This vent was tightly screwed shut and there was no way to bang it open without attracting the attention of the fighting crewmen.

"Spock, where are you damnit?" she whispered, voice shaking, into her communicator. Please, please let his communicator be on.

"Captain? I am located on the lower level of the engineering deck," he whispered, his voice much steadier than hers.

"Good. You're close by. I'm in the vent on the upper level. I can't get out because of these two fighting idiots. Help me out?"

"Of course, Captain. Spock out."

Always dependable, always knowing what to do.

She closed her communicator and slid it back onto her belt as she laid her forehead against the cool metal beneath her, looking through the vent out of the corner of her eye.

Spock approached the two personnel and they turned toward him, not expecting Spock to reach out and nerve pinch them both at once.

He had tried to teach her how to do that once, her fingers got more bruised than his shoulder.

"Captain, it is reassuring to see you again," Spock said as he kneeled next to the vent and began to pry it open.

"Same to you, . What'd you manage learn about the ship?"

"Enough for this plan to be carried out somewhat efficiently."

"I'm sure it'll work. You can take off the armor now. I got rid of mine."

Spock pulled off the last corner and Jamie crawled out, turning to lie on her back, "Let me rest for a second okay?"

"Did the medic not treat your wound?"

"Nah. The rebel had better things to do. I wasn't found out so it's fine."

"Indeed," he stripped off his armor and helm, "I believe we should begin by disabling bridge access to the ship's systems."

She noted how nice he looked in the regulation black t-shirt, it hugged his fit frame and complimented the green flush in his skin.

His hand gripped her wrist as she slowly stood, wincing in pain, and breathing deeply.

The hand lingered for a moment before he turned to the nearest console and got to work.

"I'll head to the bridge and stun the goons. You stay here and get us back to Deep Space Seven okay?"

"Yes, Captain."

Jamie grabbed some version of large Klingon phaser and started walking down the stairs.

"Oh, and Spock?" she called out from below.

"Yes?"

"Try and find the escape pods and the shuttle bay while you're working, get ahold of me when you do."

He nodded and got back to work, deciding not to point out the blood escaping her makeshift bandage and trailing down.

Jamie stepped through the narrow doorway and made her way to the bridge, stunning anyone she saw before they had the chance to retaliate.

The rebel ship had only about 20 crewmembers, and this was much easier than expected. The leader of this rebel fleet must be on a different warbird.

"I was expecting you Miss Kirk," Drex stated as he stood from his chair and walked over to her, "You were my target all along. I must admit your disguise was quite convincing."

"Thanks," she pointed the phaser right at his chest, "I got a gun too."

The Klingon Captain smiled devilishly, "You must be aware at this point that there is only one escape pod, and I am aware that you will give it to your Vulcan Commander when this ship self-destructs in three hours."

"You talk like you know me, Drex."

"I have heard many tales of your deeds Jamie. You are quite the extraordinary threat to me and my rebels."

"So you planned this all along?"

"Not exactly like this, no. But things will turn out as planned. You and I will go out in a blazing glory. I'll die for the honor, and you'll die senselessly."

"I'll die knowing I saved my ship and the Starfleet station," she said angrily as she stunned the coy Klingon.

They had only three hours to take out the rest of the rebels and make sure the Enterprise and Deep Space Seven was safe.

"Spock, controls back to the bridge and get over here. Kirk out."

She sank into the captain's chair and held her head in her hands. With only one escape pod of course she was going to force Spock to use it if the situation got dire. Hopefully Scotty and Chekov could get her out of the exploding ship in time.

The sound of the door opening and then closing pulled her out of her thoughts and she turned to look at her first officer, "You know, I'm not as bad as the rumors make me out to be."

"I am aware of that. You may be reckless and unorthodox in your methods, but you are an exceptional Captain. Do not doubt yourself. Like you said, this plan will work."

"Thank you Spock," her voice caught in her throat when she said it. There was no doubt in her mind that she would save him first and foremost.

He noticed the strangled tone and walked over to her, "You are hiding valuable information from me."

"You read me like a book."

"You are human."

"I know."

He briefly placed a hand on her shoulder and squeezed before turning towards the weapons console, "Shall we begin?"

She sat in front of the helm and replied, "Let's save the day again."

"From what I have deduced there are three other warbirds, two are ordered to attack Deep Space Seven, and the largest is ordered to attack the Enterprise."

"Got it. Enable the cloaking device, Spock."

"Enabled."

"Ahead warp factor eight. We'll be there in less than ten minutes. Sulu's way better at this than I am."

"You are quite capable, Captain."

She turned to him and smiled that dazzling big tooth smile, and he simply raised an eyebrow. Jamie liked to think of it as his equivalent to a smile, "As are you, Commander."

"Two warbirds directly ahead, Captain."  
"Decloak and fire torpedoes at their engines, Spock."

"Initiating evasive maneuvers. Keep firing and take them out."

"Shields at sixty percent."

"Take them out Spock!"

Jamie desperately did her best to avoid oncoming missiles and torpedoes while keeping the ship steady during impact.

"The warbirds have been disabled, Captain. Our shields are at 42 percent."

"How's Deep Space Seven?"

"Their casualties are minimal thanks to our intervention."

"Good. They can thank us later, let's go take out the leader."

_Self-destruct initiated. Self-destruct in five minutes._

Drex had lied. And now they had only five minutes to save the Enterprise and themselves.

"Spock, get to the escape pod."

"I will not without you."

"That escape pod can only hold one of us and it's going to be you. Just make sure they beam me out of here before it's too late."

"Negative. I will not allow us to separate."

"Spock-"

"I will not allow you to perish again."

That shut her up. She remembered that Spock had actually shed a tear as she lay dying after realigning the warp core. But this was different. She had more of a chance this time.

And he definitely had a chance. If only he would just listen to her.

"I'm not going to die Spock, I'm going to stay behind and make sure that when this ship blows up so does the warbird attacking the Enterprise. You need to get to the ship and make sure they beam me out of here."

Her logic was sound. But still, he refused to leave.

She directed the ship so it was a close to the leading warbird as possible.

Then she moved over and sat in Spock's lap, manning the weapons herself.

"If you had simply asked, I would have moved."

"Shut up."

She was clearly frustrated and stressed as she did her best to take out the attacking ship's shields.

_Self-destruct in three minutes._

"Their shields are at 20 percent, Captain," he stated as he looked over her much too close shoulder.

"It'll have to do. Let's get to the escape pod." She stood and started running, and he followed close behind.

_Self-destruct in two minutes. _

"Captain to whoever the hell is commanding the Enterprise or at the communications console."

"Uhura here Captain, are you al-"

"Prepare to receive an escape pod in shuttle bay two. Kirk out."

The doors slid open and she turned to Spock, "Get in."

"Not until you do so, Captain."

_Self-destruct in one minute._

Jamie didn't have time for this. Saving Spock and the Enterprise was her first priority.

She did the only thing she could think to do, and that was grabbing his hand and sharing a brief Vulcan kiss before kissing him gently on the cheek, "Save yourself, and save our ship, Spock. That's a direct order."

And before the tingle in his fingers and on his cheek went away, and before he could say a thing, he was pushed into the escape pod and the doors slid behind him.

The pod ejected, shooting towards the Enterprise's bay doors.

And he turned in time to see the warbirds explode, with his Captain, his beloved friend, still on board.

She had died of her own choosing once again to save him and the many.


	8. Chapter 8-Denial and Isolation

**Day one: Minutes after Spock Arriving on the Enterprise.**

"I'm sorry Commander. I-I thought that she was in the escape pod with you. She was still on the ship. Oh god she was still on the ship," the poor lieutenant sitting at Chekov's station held his head in his hands. Chekov was currently examining the escape pod in shuttle bay two with Mr. Scott.

Spock didn't reply, instead he sat at his station, not even daring to look at the Captain's chair.

Communication with Jamie had been lost yes, there was no doubt her communicator had been destroyed and they had no way to track her vitals. But for now she was simply...missing in action.

There was still a small chance that she had somehow survived. A very small chance of 106,498.9999965 to .01. But the chance was still there. His Captain was known for being part of the small percentage, of beating the odds.

It was more of a chance than his mother had had.

No, thinking like that, giving in to human sentiment would not help the situation. This crew needed a leader and guidance at the moment.

"Lieutenant," he turned to Uhura sitting in a state of shock and dismay at her station, "Contact Starfleet command. Inform them that Captain Kirk is missing in action and we are attempting to find her. If after three days there is no sign or chance of her recovery, she will be declared dead and we will return to Earth for further orders and to help with the necessary arrangements. The funeral services should be not be performed here if they are needed, they will be carried out-"

"Spock, you're rambling," she held up a hand to stop him from speaking further, "I'll contact Starfleet. You do what you need to do and find her."

Spock nodded, silently thanking Uhura for her understanding.

They would need to begin by examining the debris and the surrounding area.

" , maintain our position. For the next three star days we will remain here and examine the debris field."

"Yes, sir. Course already plotted for examination."

"Look for any sign of recent transport, or warp signatures."

Spock realized he didn't even need to issue the order; the bridge crew was already hard at work looking for any trace of Jamie.

Jamie was right; this crew truly did care for her. They cherished her as much as she cherished them. If she truly was alive, they would find her.

"Lieutenant Uhura, you have the conn," things would be fine here for a while without him, besides, he needed to visit sickbay.

"Deck 12."

The turbolift doors slid shut and he found himself staring at the ground, trying desperately to keep his mind clear.

Meditation was certainly required.

However, for now he needed to talk with the doctor.

The doors slid open and he stepped through, his pace slower than usual by 12 percent.

The world seemed to be moving in slow motion, the lights were far too dim yet far too bright, the crewmen walking by him looked down, their faces grim. Most did not acknowledge his present, and those that did looked at him with an expression of pity he did not desire to see.

He was stopped by a body in front of him when the doors to sickbay slid open.

"Nurse Chapel, your face is wet."

"Yeah, Spock. A lot of faces on board are." She looked up at him, a mix of anger and sadness clouding her eyes, her blond hair was in an unusual state of disarray.

He reached to wipe the tear, but she walked away before he could.

Spock failed to understand how roaming the halls weeping was going to better their predicament, but humans were naturally illogical in their actions.

"Doctor? Are you present?"

"Present as hell Spock. And wanting to be left alone."

"You requested I report for an examination at my earliest convenience."

"I said, 'get the hell down here you reckless, ridiculous, superhero wannabes' Notice the use of plurals."

"Should I return at a later time?"

"Get the hell over here damnit."

"Very well."

Spock sat on the bio bed nearest to the doctor, "Proceed, Doctor."

"Where the hell is Jamie?"

"I do not know."

"Why wasn't she in the escape pod with you?"

"She forced me into it and ejected it against my protests."

"Of course she did. You better find her and if she's dead damnit-"

"She is only missing in action at the moment, Doctor."

"At the moment? Damnit Spock no matter what she always came back with you. Even if she was mortally injured she always came back! She should be here too damnit."

"I am aware."

McCoy sighed and closed his medical tricorder. Spock was fine, just a few bumps and bruises. He didn't even need a hypo.

"Doctor?"

"Yeah?"

"Why does the Captain refer to you as 'Bones'?"

Where the hell did that come from? Why did the half Vulcan look almost sad?

"Because we're friends. And don't you ever call me that."

Not entirely true, but it's the best way he could explain it to that hobgoblin. The man couldn't understand the complexity of human relationships. He loved Jamie like a daughter, like a sister. They had a closeness he hadn't even felt with his estranged daughter. Jamie was insufferable, arrogant, and too smart for her own good, and at times a huge pain in the rear. But she was also an insecure girl who didn't know just how brilliant and beautiful she was. She never realized how much he appreciated her. When they first met she had actually let him vomit on her lap, and she walked into the academy with no pants on, just his jacket tied around her waist and she laughed, not embarrassed in the slightest, and told him there was no way she was going to let him get away from buying the first round of drinks and sharing a dorm.

And they had become the best of friends.

"It would be illogical of me to do so, Doctor."

"Good. Now get the hell out of here and find her."

"Doctor?" Spock stopped mid-step when walking towards the doors.

"What now?"

"I believe the term 'friends' isn't sufficient enough. Please endeavor to be more accurate in future conversations. I would suggest the term family. It is the closest English term to properly describe you and the Captain's relationship."

"I'll start calling us family when you start calling her by her first name and find a word to describe how you feel towards her."

"There is no human term that does, 'friend' will suffice. And since I am technically on duty, I will continue to call her Captain."

And with that being said, Spock walked away and the Doctor grabbed his bottle of Romulan ale, not even bothering with a drinking glass.

* * *

The five stages of emotional loss are as follows:

**Stage 1: Denial and Isolation.**

The emotionally compromised human or any species that feels emotions will deny the fact that their cherished one has perished or been lost. They will purposely distract themselves with tasks and isolate themselves from those around them, going on with their lives as if the tragedy had never occurred. How illogical. This stage is a temporary solution that will not solve their emotional problem.

**Stage 2: Anger.**

Irrational bouts of anger will then follow for weeks. The compromised individual is not ready to accept the fact that yes, their cherished one is gone. Intense uncalled for anger will be directed onto anything the individual can blame, whether it is those around them or inanimate objects. Once again, very illogical. This stage is not a solution in the slightest; it is simply a temporary outlet to ignore the pains of loss.

**Stage 3: Bargaining.**

This stage is the individuals need to regain control. The individual begins many thoughts and statements with the words, 'if only'. They will ask their higher power(s) to miraculously bring their lost one back. This stage coincides with the first stage: denial. It is also very illogical; mortals have no control over life and death or events that have already occurred.

**Stage 4: Depression.**

Spock believes this to be the most perplexing stage of emotional loss. It can consist of two feelings: Worry and sadness. Most times the individual experiences both. The worry is commonly associated with the arrangements of the funeral service and the individual's belongings, along with the impact and effect the loss will have on themselves and other loved ones. The sadness coincides with the first stage: isolation. The compromised individual wallows in their sadness and loss for days, sometimes even weeks, unsure of how to continue functioning without their lost cherished one.

A very inefficient and illogical use of time.

**Stage 5: Acceptance.**

Not all individuals reach this stage. Spock believes this should be the first and only stage of loss.

He may believe that, but he himself is only in the first stage.

He's even denying the fact that he is in denial.

And he does not acknowledge that fact as he states the Captain's override code and steps into her quarters.

It is not surprising that her quarters are in a state of dismay, the bed not made, laundry on the floor, the sonic shower door is not closed, cups are stacked on her desk, and the book she had been reading still open and next to the blossoming ploomek plant on her nightstand.

It was a perfect example of his Captain's personality.

When she did return, however, her room needed to be clean and ready to be used to full effectiveness.

She would call it a 'warm welcome'.

He began by making the bed, tucking in the sheets under the mattress (which she always neglected to do), arranging the most used pillow on the left side, which is where she most often lay in her sleep, and folding over the blanket right where her chest normally lay, for easier access underneath it.

It smelled like her, vanilla and pages of ancient readings, with a hint of sweat. But it wasn't a repulsive smell. It was, reassuring in some manner.

Familiar.

He would need to call in a yeoman to gather the dishes and laundry, so he simply neatly stacked those in the corner closest to the door.

Then he reset the 3d chess board, she would want to play very soon after her return, and placed the white pieces on the side she most often sat at.

Spock even took it upon himself to organize her uniforms (respectfully avoiding drawers that did not contain regulation clothing), clean her sonic shower, make sure her toothbrush would not become brittle, straighten any decorations, and dust off her bookshelf, but not move any of the books, she had them arranged in the order she planned to read them.

After a half an hour of cleaning, he sat on the edge of her bed and picked up the book she had been reading.

"East of Eden by John Steinback. A classic from 1952 Earth," he noted that Jamie had circled a part of the text, "'I believe a strong woman may be stronger than a man, particularly if she happens to have love in her heart. I guess a loving woman is indestructible.'"

Eyebrow raised, he reread the quote several times. How illogical, an emotion may be a strong driving force, but it did not render a woman indestructible.

He much preferred the quote, 'It seems to me that if you or I must choose between two courses of thought or action, we should remember our dying and try so to live that our death brings no pleasure to the world.' And turned to the page and circled it in blue ink, so she would know the message he was trying to tell her.

Perhaps he should retire to his quarters and meditate properly. But for some reason he felt compelled to stay and reflect quietly on her floor.

_Eden is a term associated with a paradise in Terran mythology._

_Being 'east of Eden' would seem to suggest that you are a distance away from paradise, but whether that distance is near or far was not clear. _

_Did Jamie read the volume because she believed she was near or far from paradise?_

_No, she most likely read it for the entertainment. Such is the human way._

_But to him, Jamie was beyond simple and typical human behavior. She was..fascinating in immeasurable ways. _

_When they had first met he found her to be disobedient, reckless, naïve, and not fitting as a Starfleet officer or cadet._

_But she had proven to be otherwise as she stood and defended herself against him. Most would comply with his logic. Her reasoning, however, had also made sense. _

_If she did not believe in no-win scenarios, then his simulation was flawed. _

_However, not believing in no-win scenarios did not mean that the effects would feel like winning. _

_Someone always had to lose. This time it had been her. _

_The chance that she was still alive was low. The probability of her being found, dead or alive, was quite low. _

_So why was he acting so illogically, so irrationally by believing she would return? Wasting the crew's time for three days of fruitless endeavoring instead of returning to Earth and beginning the tasks that needed to be taken care of, such as her funeral, he would be requesting to resign from further off planet missions and teach, and assigning a new Captain and first officer for the Enterprise. _

_Because the Captain, because Jamie, always beat the odds. Because Jamie almost made him believe in miracles._

Spock's eyes shot open and he struggled to breathe evenly for a few short seconds as he opened his communicator.

"Spock to Bridge."

"Lieutenant Uhura here Commander."

"Status report."

"Nothing out of the ordinary so far. Just debris."

"Are there any class M planets located within 5 light-years?"

"Just one. Unexplored. 3 light years from here."

"Very well. Continue searching. Spock out."

If Jamie had made it out, she would most likely be on that planet. But with no evidence to suggest she ever left the ship, there would be no reason to explore the planet.

Spock stood and grabbed the laundry and dishes, deciding to do it himself, for the distraction and simplicity of the task.

* * *

**Day Two: Hours after Impact**

Heat. Searing heat. The intensity made her believe that she was truly in hell, burning in fires of sin and anger. But no, that was impossible. She was burning, but not due to flame, she was burning because she was encased in metal.

Jamie groaned in pain as she slowly opened her eyes to blinding sunlight.

"What…?"

Then she remembered. After she had saved Spock she ran and found Drex's quarters, which had its own private escape pod (The liar hadn't planned to die in blaze and glory). Impact from the explosion and debris field had caused the pod's shields to drop and go off course. She must've crashed here, wherever here was. Better yet, where was the Enterprise?

The last time she had crashed onto a planet inside a pod was back on Delta Vega, and right now the arctic conditions there seemed like heaven. It was way too hot. Hotter than an Iowa summer, hotter than the Vulcan or Earth deserts, hotter than anything she had ever encountered. Her skin was sleeked with sweat and was burning. She needed to get out of here before she died from overheating.

Problem was, when she tried to touch anything it burned her, and turning caused the pain in her side to shoot through her like a shot of electricity.

"Well, now what?" she thought aloud.

Well, let's start by kicking the oven open.

Yeah it sounded easy enough, but the door wouldn't budge and each kick caused an almost scream of pain to escape her chapped lips.

"Fuck," she grunted as she helplessly kicked at it again.

It gave in a little. Just enough to encourage her to keep trying.

And finally, after another ten minutes of kicking, it opened enough for her to crawl through.

Screams of agony poured out of her mouth when she made contact with the scorching sand.

"Son of a bitch! Oh god, oh god, oh god!" she screamed and stumbled onto her feet, clutching her side and coughing blood onto the white sand beneath her, making it look like a red pen dripping onto plain stationery.

She began to stumble, walking forward in search of mercy.

Jamie decided to distract herself by talking to nothing.

"Captain's log, stardate I have no clue, sorry. I've crashed onto a desert planet, severely injured and stranded; I've tried contacting my ship to no avail. I'm alone, and burning to death. And I'm hoping that if- no I mean when my first officer and CMO hear about this they won't nag me and just buy me a drink for saving their lives and ending up here. I have no idea how long I'll last exposed to this kind of heat. I need to find water and shelter soon. I'm estimating the temperature to be 120 degrees in Fahrenheit, possibly higher. There are two suns, very close to the planet, one below the other. There's white desert as far as I can see. But deserts tend to have oasis, and there is a possibility there may be intelligent life on this planet. I'm looking for either. For now, I'm alone again."

* * *

**Day three: 1700**

"You can't just give up laddie!" Scotty yelled at Spock, who was standing stiffly next to Captain's chair, hands clasped behind his back.

"I am not 'giving up' Mr. Scott, I am simply ordering that we return to Earth."

"We have to keep looking, sir; she could be out there waiting for us. Needing help."

"She is gone, Mr. Scott. Denial is illogical."

"Damn you and your logic Spock, Jamie's out there and she needs us!" The Doctor was once again on the bridge, pacing in a most discerning manner.

"We have searched for three days, as ordered, and have found no indication that the Captain survived. It is time to return to Earth and do what is necessary."

"We don't even have a body to bury, Damnit."

"I am aware, Doctor."

"Don't you feel anything? She's your friend too!"

"She was," he briefly paused at the statement, "Mr. Sulu lay in a course for Earth, ahead warp factor 5."

Spock stood slowly and walked over to the turbolift, ignoring the looks of disbelief from the officers on the bridge.

He hadn't noticed Uhura had followed him.

"Nyota? What do you require?

"Are you okay?"

"I do not understand what you are asking."

"How do you feel?"

"I do not."

Uhura slammed her hand down onto the hold button and looked him straight in the eye, "Spock, Vulcans can't lie so don't you dare lie to me."

"You forget I am half human."

"Spock..."

She placed her lips against his and after a brief second he pulled away, not in disgust, just in disinterest, "I do not require that form of comfort, Lieutenant."

He almost heard her huff in exasperation, "Then what do you require?"  
An interesting question, what did he require? Rest, sustenance, and maybe perhaps more meditation? Spock ordered the turbolift to move again with the press of a button as he stared somewhere over Nyota's shoulder.

He required many things at the moment. None of which could be provided. But most of all, he simply required Jamie. He required her presence, her insight, her insufferable illogical ways, he required her. The familiarity and strange comfort of hearing the words, 'Captain on the bridge.'

"I require that which I cannot have, my friend, my Captain. But for now I will request something that can be provided easily. For this crew to perform to the best of their abilities, and for them to support me and let me be in my decisions."

Uhura nodded in understanding, but no small smile appeared this time, "I miss her too, Spock."

He stepped out of the turbolift and purposely walked to his quarters. Like a true Vulcan, like a true military man. No one saw the slight shaking in his hands.

* * *

**Day 4: Must be around noon in Iowa**

Jamie at the moment required a break, a miracle, just a simple act of mercy from the universe.

The heat felt like a blanket of fire wrapping around her, constricting against her lungs, wrapping her skin in a heat blazing like the two suns directly overhead.

The pain in her side was a shooting and stinging barrage of needles, starting just below her ribs and pulsating through her. She couldn't take much more. Losing too much blood was another problem on the long list of immediate issues, followed by even more not so urgent problems,

Removing her sweat stained and torn grey tank and wrapping it around her head, she cursed under her breath, unable to find her voice due to the exhaustion. How long had she been walking? A full day at the least, she concluded.

The stranded Captain Kirk hissed in pain as she tightened the makeshift blue bandage. She undid her bra and curled it into a bra, using it as a rag to wipe the sweat out of her eyes.

Was her crew looking for her or preparing an empty casket? She hoped it was the former. Come on, Spock wouldn't give up on her that easily right?

Giving up on herself certainly wasn't an option. Deserts got beyond freezing at night and she needed to find water and shelter. Her mind felt different, warped, and uneven in some manner. She craved the juicy sweet taste of Bones' apples, the refreshing and cooling mint of Spock's tea.

She would feel unusual hopefulness and happiness at one point, then irrational and unconventional anger the next. For now, she was left in a dismal gray limbo, at an in between of emotion. What was going on? Was the heat getting to her head now? Is that what Vulcans felt all the time? Believing they felt nothing at all was an easier concept to grasp. And if a Vulcan were stranded here they'd have way less trouble than she was having.

She quickened her pace as she saw wavering green on the horizon.


	9. Chapter 9-Not Anger, Just Displeasure

A/N I feel like this chapter is mostly rambling and filler and I am sorry. Also Janice deserves so much credit and attention.

* * *

_To continue the search would be illogical,_ is what Spock's sensible mind kept repeating. However, there was another part of him that felt compelled to order a turnaround, to turn back and thoroughly search again. Surely there was something in the debris field that could lead to the Captain's location. If not that then surely there must be something to bring some form of comfort to the crew, something to bury.

Indeed, returning to Earth empty handed was quite devastating for the crew.

And perhaps even for him as well. He was a dedicated first officer and friend; he could not bring himself to be content with leaving, even if it was direct Starfleet protocol and order.

Spock sat in his quarters, lights off, lit candles surrounding his robed form. His face was stoic, mind in deep contemplation, an air of utter concentration surrounding him.

The shadows cast seemed to intensify his sharp features. Giving him an air of unworldliness, as if he was floating in a darkened sky, and he was alone with his wandering thoughts.

In had been nine days, including the three spent searching, since Jamie's death.

No, that word was much too harsh, and it seemed inaccurate for whatever reason.

Nine days since her disappearance.

Clasped hands began to shake once again and he forcibly forced his thoughts elsewhere.

A particular issue that continued to perplex him was the funeral service, more specifically the lack of family members.

The only solution would be for him to try and find a will, had Jamie written one, and then to locate and converse with her brother. Perhaps would be willing to assist with the services as well; he may even be able to help with locating the Captain's brother.

And if anyone would know of her wishes, it would be Leonard McCoy.

Spock opened his eyes and allowed a sigh to escape his lips. The concentration required for effective meditation once again could not be attained.

It would take another two days to reach Earth. Two days of crew morale being at the lowest, looks of pity or disgust, all members of the crew were feeling loss and very emotional.

He stood, and the robe slid down his toned form, slowly revealing a thin yet toned frame, all of it was aching and burning for rest.

Yet rest would not come anytime soon.

There were more pressing matters to attend to.

He pulled on his uniform with leisure and sluggish movements, not particularly looking forward to the days ahead.

"Spock to sickbay."

"Nurse Chapel here, Spock."

"Have the doctor contact me as soon as he reports for duty."

"Yes, sir."

The communicator snapped shut and Spock left his quarters only to take a few steps to Jamie's, once again speaking the override code, and once again stepping into an eerily empty room. Still clean, thanks to his efforts.

This time, he was looking for something specific.

Something he found himself wishing not to see.

"Computer, lights at thirty percent."

He sat at her desk and began searching through the documents and records on her padd.

As he filtered through, he was surprised to find that she had had been a survivor of Tarsus IV, her academic credentials were genius level (more so than he had previously known, it was no wonder she had graduated early and was granted advancements in rank so quickly), she had even earned a few commendations, and he even discovered that her brother's name was George, and his middle name was Samuel. Jamie had only called him Sam.

Just how little did he know of her?

She never or rarely mentioned these things. In fact, she never mentioned Tarsus IV.

Jamie Tiberia Kirk was truly a fascinating human. Not only was her death a personal loss to many, but a loss for Starfleet as well. It is regrettable the Federation had lost such an outstanding officer.

He decided it would be best not to read her personal logs, and while skipping past one titled, _Bones doesn't get the meaning of triumvirate and prefers the term dynamic duo, _He came across a document (not under personal logs) titled, _ It was the best of times, it was the worst of times._

_To whomever this may concern:_

_I hope that means all of you that I have encountered in my travels. _

_Regulations state that I am absolutely required to write this will and testament since I am Captain and have a high chance of dying. Well I believe everyone has an equal chance of dying. _

_So let me begin by saying that at this time my only regret is that I never found an authentic copy of _A Tale of Two Cities by Charles Dickens _so if anyone can find one bury it with me okay?_

_Otherwise, I have no other regrets. I know that I have encountered souls both great and evil, have shared many adventures with comrades and friends, and have contributed my life to being something greater than myself. Destiny is a word that I've come to believe in, and being on the Enterprise was my first and greatest destiny, I hope it hasn't been my only one. _

_As for my stuff, it is only right that I let my two best friends, my greatest friends, and the better parts of me sort that out._

_CMO Leonard Horatio McCoy and First Officer S'Chn T'Gai Spock: You know what's best for me in death. _

_Let my crew know that they are welcome to contribute in any way possible and that I am eternally grateful to have served with each and every one of them._

_Sayonara, _

_Captain Jamie T. Kirk._

Spock turned off the Padd and set it down. His assumption had been right; the Doctor would be the one to determine what would be done next. He just had not expected that he would be given the honor as well. How did she know his full name?

"Spock here," he said quietly as his communicator beeped.

"You wanted me to report to you?"

"Yes, doctor, would you meet me in the Captain's quarters?"

A brief pause followed by a deep sigh.

"Yeah, give me about ten minutes. McCoy out."

He sat and waited. But not for long, as he heard the familiar buzz eight minutes earlier than expected, "Enter," he said dismissively.

She stepped through, blonde hair tied back in an intricate and interesting fashion, she was of the rare few who did not look down when he was near, and instead she looked right in his eyes from her position in front of the doorway. He looked up from where he was sitting to meet her gaze, eyebrow raised in question, "May I be of assistance Yeoman?"

"Mr. Spock, I'm Yeoman Janice Rand. You can call me Janice if you want. Or just Yeoman. I'm here because, well, I know this may come to nothing, but Jamie-sorry I meant the Captain and I were good friends back at the academy for a short time, I was recently assigned back onto the Enterprise while it was stationed at Deep Space Seven. I never got the chance to talk to her. And now that she's believed to be dead, well, I just couldn't accept that. J-The Captain couldn't die so easily. So I did some observing of my own, and I think you might be interested in what I've found," as she spoke she stepped over to him and handed him an information Padd.

Spock looked at the information and felt his eyes widen, "This would suggest the possibility of a second escape pod, Yeoman."

"I know, it's a long shot. But it's a possibility that we have to investigate."

"You do realize we cannot alter our course without authorization."

"I know, sir. But I'm asking you to consider this and try."

"I will request permission to do so, Miss Rand," he handed the Padd back to her; "I ask that you wait here and explain all of this to , if it is not of any inconvenience."

"Of course not."

"Very well. Please explain your reasoning and theory to me once again Yeoman, this time in words. I would also like to know how you accumulated this information."

Spock would not allow hope to overcome him, yes the Yeoman's theory was plausible, but not very likely.

If Starfleet did grant permission to investigate it, however, he would not protest.

* * *

**Day ten: suns are setting.**

Jamie had established a routine; she started her day by carving another slash with a sharp rock she kept on her person into the tree next to her (nine so far, her count was probably off but who cares?), then she went deeper into the oasis in a fruitless endeavor to find food, usually she just ended up with some fruit that was hardly edible, she then allowed herself a small drink from the puddle of water in her camp twice a day, once in the morning and once at night.

Every third day was the day she did not look forward to. There was no moon on the third night, meaning it was exceptionally dark along with the subzero temperatures.

Whether or not she would freeze to death or starve to death first was the greatest mystery.

As the suns set, she looked at her small little camp. The oasis itself was as large as a forest, however this clearing contained the only body of water she could find and it wasn't much of a body, more like a puddle. It hadn't rained once since she crashed here, there hadn't even been clouds in the sky as far as she could tell. The sand still burned her during the day, but at least it cooled off at night. No indications of animal life is what worried her, she couldn't live off of small amounts of fruit and a limited supply of water for long.

Her bed was only a few large leaves, the only things that could keep her warm were the clothes on her back. The makeshift bandage had switched purposes to become another layer at night.

The wound wasn't healing well, the puss poured and blood spilled out often.

Most of her day consisted of laying on her sorry excuse for a bed and waiting for the bleeding to stop, waiting for her growling stomach to silence, and waiting for the air to cool off enough to do anything productive.

Alone. She truly was alone again. And that was the worst part.

Her crew had most likely given up on her at this point. The idea nearly brought tears to her eyes.

But honestly they had every right and reason to declare her dead; it was foolish to think they would search the universe for her.

And with no indications of other intelligent life, and this area of the Alpha quadrant not exactly busy with starships and stations, the chances of being discovered and rescued were slim.

Jamie pulled Spock's blue uniform-which at this point had more red stains than blue cloth- over her measly grey tank and shivered. Tonight would be the night she would try and start a fire.

Camping in Yosemite was something she had always wanted to do. Bones promised her someday he would go with her. And right now she pretended she was in Yosemite as she scrounged for dry timber in the advanced darkness.

Then she heard a growl from behind her.

She turned just as she was pinned to the ground by sharp talons digging into her forearms.

Saliva dripped onto her face as the creature licked up her neck with a snaked tongue, sharp teeth grazing against her skin.

The noises from it throat sent an involuntary shiver down her spine.

"Get off!" Jamie screamed as she kicked at the creature's back legs, which were now spreading hers apart and pinning them painfully down into the sand.

The creature reeled back when she bit as hard as she could into its furry face, she pulled the rock out of her pocket and jumped it, stabbing over and over as it screamed and writhed, fighting her and trying to get away.

When it stopped moving Jamie felt tears streaming down her face. The only other living creature she had seen in over a week and she just killed it.

She was beginning to understand why Spock was a vegetarian as she dragged the corpse back to her measly camp.

Its coat would've been a perfect blanket but unfortunately Jamie had no way of skinning it, so she ripped off clumps of fur and used them as timber on her wood pile. The creature was rather large, so its meat would serve as food for over a week, maybe longer if she kept the meals fairly small. Things were looking better, she supposed.

Like a tiny little flicker of light in an ever increasing dark void kind of better.

But, Jamie was a Captain, and therefore wouldn't give up so damn easily. Even if she had to wait for years, she would wait, she would survive, and she would be with her friends on that bridge again.

Come on, who gives up all hope after nine days of being stranded?

Rubbing two sticks together was the thing that was frustrating her. At the academy they taught how to start fires with rocks and phasers, not twigs.

She blew gently onto the friction she created and sparks finally ignited the timber. Before long, she had her fire burning at a decent size and rate.

"Nothing like sleeping under foreign stars huh?" she whispered to herself as she laid her bed closer to the fire.

She clutched her side and decided that tomorrow she'd have to play doctor. Her damaged wrists would be fine on their own. If Bones were there he'd be saying otherwise, going on about the risk of infections and reckless behavior and so on.

Being alone let her run the risk of becoming sentimental, and even more than that, angry out of pure frustration.

Okay, yeah, so they had every right to give up on her. If Spock had been the one down here they would have had to relieve her of duty before she gave up, and even then she probably would've stolen a shuttle. But Spock was rational and logical, so of course he would deem her dead and move on.

And she knew that didn't exactly mean she meant nothing to him, he just wasn't one to waste time on things like luck and hope. Most of the time she admired him for that, and most of the time it sort of pissed her off.

She turned on her back and noticed the stars in the black sky above her offered little light or comfort, they shone red and angry, so far away, like a reminder of her own frustration.

Groaning inwardly, she closed her eyes, ignoring her growing hunger and the growing pain.

There were no coos from birds, or humming from insects. The only noise was the wind blowing in the olive green trees above her and the crackle of the fire. And that's when Jamie realized it.

That creature was foreign to this planet, just like her.

It made total sense. It looked starved and angry, had attacked her on sight, and was not built for extreme temperatures like on this planet. So why was it here? Was there anyone or anything else stranded on this planet?

Just what was this place?

Realizing that, she felt guilty for eating it. But on the other hand she would've felt even guiltier if she had wasted an opportunity for food. Never let yourself starve, and never waste food was a rule for her.

With that issue being solved she mulled over ways to treat the gash in her side. She didn't know much, she only learned a few things from Bones and after a while she stopped listening to his lectures. No needles, no strings, and a bandage that needed to be used for warmth at night weren't going to be enough, obviously. Blood loss was becoming a major problem, as was infection. Her only option seemed to be heat. That would hurt, a lot. No pain no gain though, she thought as she once again fell victim to a coughing fit, spewing blood onto the not-so-blue-anymore shirt. What color did red and blue make again? Oh yeah, purple. Surprising lack of purple on this planet, maybe she would try and find a purple fruit tomorrow.

Well, Jamie at least had a plan and some interesting theories; it was something to look forward to at least.


	10. Chapter 10-Bargaining

A/N in case you're wondering, the alien I'm talking about was inspired by the Wendigo in Algonquian mythology.

* * *

**Day 11: The suns have barely risen and it's too early and too cold for this**

The creature was easier to make out in the morning light.

It looked almost like an ancient mythological creature called the chimera, a disturbing hybrid of fearful creatures. Of course, the snarling and growling thing inching closer to her was far more real and less intricate than ancient designs. Maybe it looked more like a werewolf, or some form of fucked up vampire.

Whatever the case, this one must've been a different gender or age than the one that attacked her last night; it was larger, much, much larger.

It was standing on its hind legs, back arched; knees bent backwards, talons digging into the sand as it moved towards her.

But then it stopped when it saw the mangled corpse of the creature she had killed last night, and then it made a noise, like a mix of a growl and a bark.

"What?" She asked. Okay, it was dumb to try and talk to this thing but maybe it could buy her a little time.

"What." It said back.

Jamie straightened her back and got out of her defensive and ready to bolt stance. So it was intelligent. That's a good sign.

"What," she said once again, more of a statement than a question.

"Mate," it pointed to the corpse lying by the still burning embers of her fire, "End."

That was easy enough to understand. She was most likely fucked.

Kirk held up her hands in an apologetic gesture, hoping the creature would somewhat understand, "Survival, sorry." She said softly. Maybe she could explain and charm her way out of this.

The creature shook its head and frantically pointed at the corpse, then to her, "_Mate."_ It said more harshly this time, like a desperate pleading for her to understand.

"Mate?" she pointed at herself.

Without warning, the talons that had made her so nervous wrapped around one of her still injured wrists. Strangely enough, they weren't digging into her this time, "Mate, Mate!"

She looked at the sharp claws, up the gray haired arm, and up into the green cat-like eyes of the beast, she had to look up because the thing was almost twelve feet tall. The eyes didn't look angry, not even threatening. They were soft, desperate, and almost as afraid as she was; perhaps nervous was a better term.

"Mate? Oh, oh. You mean friend!"

The large green eyes lit up and it nodded vigorously, shaking her arm, "Friend!"

Then it pointed to the corpse with its other arm, "Not friend."

Jamie had a small smile forming on her lips. Actual communication for the first time in forever! And it was friendly! Sort of. At least she guessed the creature was friendly.

"Friends," she said almost giddily, trying to hide her excitement.

"Friends," it replied. It looked her straight in the eyes as it lifted her injured wrist to its mouth, silently asking permission to do whatever it was it was about to do.

She nodded, because after all, what's the worst that could happen at this point?

A long, dark violet, forked tongue slithered out between the sharp teeth and licked the wound on her wrist, tasting the blood while removing the sting. Jamie gasped; it was such a foreign and odd feeling.

"My apologies and condolences," it spoke with the pronunciation and grace of an adult human intellectual, "My kind gains knowledge through blood."

"Okay. Um, thanks?"

"My healing abilities are very limited. Do not thank me." The robotic tone of its voice reminded her of her first officer.

"What exactly did you learn?"

"Just your language, do not worry for your privacy."

Speaking of privacy…"If we're going to be friends I'm going to need more about you," she stated, her captain-like authorative tone finally coming back, but with an air of friendliness.

The creature released her wrist and sat down on the opposite of the embers, as far away from the corpse as it could get. It patted the ground next to it and Jamie sat down slowly, clutching her side but keeping her eyes trained on him.

It took a deep breath before speaking, "I understand my appearance may frighten you, spacewoman."

"My name is Jamie, Captain Jamie T. Kirk of the USS Enterprise, and I've seen plenty of aliens. I don't discriminate based on looks."

"I see. You discriminate due to actions. Very wise, spacewoman, because if you had let my enemy live, you would be dead, or pregnant with a babe that would kill you from the inside out."

"Your enemy?" Jamie shuddered at the thought of what the thing might've done to her.

"Notice the jet black fur. He is what we call a feral, a criminal species among our race. Rapacious and violent."

"Oh. Makes sense. What do you call your species, and what do you call yourself?"

"My species has no name and neither do I, seeing as my planet was destroyed five years ago. Three hundred of us survived, the tames and the ferals. We landed here hoping to make a new life for ourselves. We did not anticipate such harsh conditions, death overcame us. And now, after you killed my enemy, I am the last. You may call me what you wish, spacewoman."

"I think I'll call you Darwin."

"It will do."

"So, Darwin, you've been here for five years?"

"Correct."

"That's reassuring," Jamie sighed and her shoulders slumped, "Do you happen to know of a better place to sleep? Or where food is?"

"You misunderstand my statement. I have been here for five years simply because I have nowhere else to go. Where you are now, this oasis is adequate enough for survival."

Adequate? Yes, it had the essentials, food, water, a place to sleep. But it was still lacking.

"Spacewoman?"

Jamie lifted her head and turned to look at Darwin, "Yeah?"

"Do you have a home you would like to return to?"

When she heard the word home she didn't think of Earth, or her house in Iowa. Kirk thought of the Enterprise, specifically the people aboard, her crewmen, her friends, the bridge and its sounds, the mess and chatter of mingled conversations, sickbay and Bones' worried grumbling, her chess set and Spock's silence that spoke volumes.

"Yes, I do," she whispered, her heart wrenching at the thought of it returning to Earth without her, declaring her dead and someone else taking the role she had worked so hard for, standing by her friends and treating them like just another set of officers.

"Then I will endeavor to keep you alive, little injured one, and help you return home."

"But what about your own survival?"

"I am old, spacewoman. My time will end on the next night of the two suns. It will bring me fulfillment to sustain life before my own ends."

Jamie half-smiled and clapped Darwin's shoulder, "Thank you."

She had three days with a new friend, a measly three days. What would happen after that?

"I have healing abilities. I can smell the infection and blood. Let me help."

Great. He could smell the disgusting mess that had formed on her side.

"Yeah, why not?"

She wanted to give this alien as much happiness and fulfillment as she could before he died; she also wanted to learn as much as she could about him since he was the last of his species.

So, she pulled off Spock's blue shirt and lifted her dirty, sweat stained grey tank, then turned and laid down on her side in the sand (which was growing warmer as the sun rose), giving Darwin full access.

He sniffed at it, like a dog or maybe a wolf, and then spoke, "I must remind you that my abilities are limited. I will do the best I can. The rest is up to the spirits."

Darwin's species was spiritual. That was nice to know. She wasn't exactly religious, but she liked it when people could believe in something.

"Go ahead. You'll probably do way better than I ever could," she laid her head on her arm and watched, noticing the design of the starch white antlers donning his head.

"I thank you for your permission to do this. My culture believes this to be a very intimate gesture."

"The Federation is all about respect, trust, friendship, tolerance. You name it."

"I would like to hear more of this Federation."

"As long as you tell me more of your culture, it's a deal," Jamie pushed her very dirty hair out of her face and motioned for him to get started. Bones would be glad to hear all about this alien's healing techniques.

Darwin nodded, and grabbed Spock's shirt, he stood and walked over to the puddle of water.

"Wait! What are you doing?"

"This water you have been drinking is already tainted, spacewoman, I will show you how to gather water from the leaves. I am cleaning this blue cloth you cherish so much."

Was it that obvious? "Well, alright."

She could've sworn she saw Darwin roll his eyes before getting to work on cleaning Spock's shirt.

When he was done, and her 'cherished' bandage was dripping wet, he walked back over to her and sat down.

"Are you prepared?"

"As much as I can be."

He began by wiping away the crusted blood and puss, not being gentle about it whatsoever, he thoroughly scrubbed until she thought he had scraped away a layer of skin. Kirk bit her lip, this pain was next to nothing compared to some things she had gone through. So she kept her eyes trained on Darwin, taking in every detail of him and his methods that she could.

Then came the odd part, his long purple snaked tongue slithered out and licked the gash, over and over, until a tingling sensation began to shoot through her and she struggled to remain still. The strange sensation was like being pinched and tickled directly on your nerve endings.

"This next part will be quite painful, spacewoman. Will you allow me to proceed?" The concern was evident in his voice.

Jamie simply nodded, swallowing down her fear and nervousness.

His pressed his talon into one of still burning embers of the fire for a bit, "I am guessing your species cannot block pain."

"Guess that's just something humans have to put up with."

He slowly pressed his burning hot claw onto her open wound, causing a scream of utter agony to suddenly burst out and leave her chapped lips, splitting them open and causing an echo to stop the silence of the hot desert.

He reached back and handed her Spock's shirt and she dug her teeth into the wet cloth, clutching onto it desperately as Darwin's claw continued to burn her side. Tears poured out of her eyes, nearly blinding her with the sting. This was unlike pain she had ever felt. An image of Bones leaning over her flashed through her mind, and the Bones turned into...Spock?

After that, she passed out.

* * *

**Day 11: 0800 hours**

"Request denied. We can't have your arrival delayed due to some ridiculous theory."

"Admiral, I remind you that this theory is plausible."

"Yes, Commander, with a one in a million chance of being true. Request denied. The Enterprise will arrive as scheduled, that's an order."

Spock didn't bother telling the Admiral the actual chances, which were even slimmer than his crude estimate, instead muttering a, "Yes sir," and closing communications.

"You're not actually going to listen to that self-righteous bastard are you?" Doctor McCoy grumbled from his seat next to Spock's.

Spock, Doctor McCoy, Sulu, Janice Rand, and Nyota Uhura sat at the table in briefing room B, they had gathered to request permission to pursue Yeoman Rand's theory.

Her theory was of course, pure speculation based on a miniscule piece of debris that didn't exactly match the rest of the debris field and the path it had been following for the past three days.

"Doctor, we have our orders."

"To hell with the orders," this time it was Sulu who spoke.

"Sulu's right, if there's any chance that the Captain is out there we have to take it. She wouldn't leave any of us behind," Uhura slammed her fist onto the table for emphasis.

Spock knew Nyota's words were true; Jamie had saved all of them at great risk on numerous occasions. It was only right they do the same.

Morality was a very human thing, yet he embraced it, "Our orders are that the Enterprise must arrive on schedule."

"What are you driving at, Spock?" McCoy asked.

"We take a shuttle, with two crewmembers only, to the M class planet and investigate. The journey would take about fourteen days with our fastest shuttle, The Galileo, at a constant speed of Warp Five."

The members of the meeting sat in shocked silence as Spock spoke of open rebellion. The plan was absolutely brilliant and reckless, and very odd coming out of the half-Vulcan's mouth.

"Well, the Admiral didn't say anything about shuttles and every crewmember arriving, just the Enterprise," Sulu chimed in, he was correct.

Spock looked at the approving faces of the various crewmembers, "We are in agreement, then. Which member of the crew will go with me?"

Every single member of the briefing room raised their hand.

He would need someone with versatile skills, and medical capability just in case.

Logically, the answer was Leonard McCoy.

"Doctor McCoy, would you be willing to accompany me?"

"You don't even need to ask."

"Wait, wait, won't it be suspicious if the Commander _and _CMO are suddenly not making reports or establishing regular communication?" Janice Rand asked no one in particular; most likely her question was directed at everyone. For a Yeoman she was surprisingly smart, perhaps a promotion was in order.

"I will leave that to the human capability of exaggeration, Yeoman," Spock looked at Nyota,"Lieutenant, alert the crew of our plan. Influenza is spreading which has rendered and myself incapable of performing our duties."

"Of course, Commander," Nyota smiled and stood, eager to convey the message.

"Doctor, we will leave at 1600, make your preparations," Spock motioned for Uhura to wait a moment, "I do not wish for the crew to have false hopes. This mission is not a rescue mission, it is an investigation, is that clear?"

"Crystal," Uhura and the Doctor spoke at the same time.

It was obvious they believed the mission was the former. It would be a waste of time to try and change their minds; he had grown to know both of these individuals long enough to know the undeniable fact that they were both very stubborn individuals.

Nyota hugged Spock briefly, in a friendly and grateful manner, before exiting the room. The Doctor simply nodded with a smile, then followed her. Everyone in the room was smiling as they left, actually. Except Spock, his eyebrow just rose like always. But perhaps he was smiling very slightly when the room cleared.

* * *

**1600 hours exactly:**

"Spock, I have double-no triple checked everything so let's just get going," Doctor McCoy sound very exasperated as sat in the seat next to Spock's.

"Very well, Doctor. Since you are so eager."

But he knew Leonard McCoy was not eager. Evidently, far from it actually. He often spoke of his dislike of space travel. Fourteen days alone in a measly shuttle with only himself as company was apparently not something the Doctor was eager about.

"We'll get along fine, I'll make sure of it," McCoy said as if he had heard Spock's thoughts, "I don't hate you, you just piss me off a lot. And I'm not just doing this for Jamie; I'm doing it for both of you."

"What do you mean, Doctor?"

"You know exactly what I mean."

As the shuttle left the bay and they engaged into warp five, Spock still hadn't figured out what he was talking about.

"Doctor?"

"Yeah?"

"I still don't know what you meant."

Leonard didn't answer, instead sighed heavily and leaned back in his seat, "How am I going to deal with you for fourteen days?"

"You will manage."

"You talk like I'm the only one with a problem."

"Aren't you?"

He heard McCoy chuckle and he held back his own ghost of a grin. They would get along fine.

"You might just grow on me yet, Spock."

"I don't understand-" He did, understand somewhat, but it was fascinating to see the Doctor's reactions whenever he exaggerated being naive.

"Never mind," The doctor was still grinning as he closed his eyes, "If you let me take a nap, I'll let you ask all the questions you want."

"Of course, Doctor."

Fourteen days of questions should prove interesting.


End file.
